I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire recently. The trip was both relaxing and enlightening. The relaxation came in the form of sitting with people I knew well enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation. The enlightening aspect was learning about their past and just how much each of them have been through. [Read more…]
What happens when you freeze instead of fight or flee? Is there anything you can do when you simply can’t function? In the first segment I talk about the inability to move or sometimes even think when something or someone triggers you or you become stressed.
Freezing can often come from childhood when you felt like you could do nothing during a traumatic event. Learn to train yourself to stay aware of what’s happening so that the freeze doesn’t come.
In segment two [Read more…]
A long time ago I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.
Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves most people could ignore them and go on with life. [Read more…]
Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.
Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others. [Read more…]
Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?
In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships, and a couple ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.
For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time? [Read more…]