When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do? You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a 100 years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.
The emotional healing journey consists of many ups and downs. A listener asks me how I managed to get through my journey and what I can share with others on what to expect. Whether you’re starting your healing journey from scratch or still on a hot path of learning, healing and growing, there’s always more to learn. I talk about what it takes to honor your boundaries in a healthy way (instead of waiting until you blow up), and recognizing patterns in yourself that may point back to emotional wounds from the past.
What are your results over and over again? Are you succeeding in life or failing miserably?
What is acceptable to you and what is not? What is considered self-sustaining and what is selfish? I read an email from someone who’s in constant battle in his mind, unsure if he’s honoring his personal boundaries or just being completely self serving. He also gets into a debate in his mind and over analyzes to the point of indecision. There’s a way to decide, and it involves the question: What what you do if you were completely fearless or not afraid of the consequences? That will usually give you the right answer that honors your boundaries.
In segment two, I read a message from a woman who’s mom never stepped in to help her kids when they were being abused. She’s forgiven her abuser, but not her mom. In fact, she feel abused by her mom even today because of the narcissistic tendencies she has. She’s not sure how to honor herself with her mom. Her emotional pendulum is stuck on one side and she hasn’t let it swing to the other side to find out what would happen if she truly honored herself with her mom. When dealing with difficult parents, it’s best to come from a place of “I love you, but this is a problem”. It’s honoring from love.
For segment three, I talk about obsessing over your partner’s history, whether it’s all the great sex your partner had (and you feel insecure about it) or even the abuse they experienced (and you are overly empathetic and depressed about it). Obsessing over your partner’s past keeps you in the past and keeps you from improving yourself to be the best person you can be in the relationship.
Today’s episode sponsored by harrys.com. Get your free trial kit and use the promo code OVERWHELMED during checkout to get your post shave balm free!
Donations are used for the prevention of child sexual abuse and healing programs for survivors
I was told that what I experienced as a child is considered a sexual violation (an enema at 7 years old or so). It was prescribed by a doctor and administered by a member of my family. It sounds like a completely legitimate medical procedure that should have only caused a minor discomfort. [Read more…]
I wrote this in a recent newsletter to The Overwhelmed Brain subscribers and received so much good feedback, I decided to turn it into an article. Enjoy! (other subjects in this episode: how we self-sabotage and anxiety all the time).
I received a letter from someone who really wanted to forgive a person in their life for one reason or another. Now, there a several schools of thought on forgiveness, how to go about it, and why.