What if you’re in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don’t seem to be in the same space as you? Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but they don’t seem to want to shower you back.
Is there something wrong with them?
Is there something dysfunctional about you?
If you are in a loving, supportive relationship, but can’t seem to connect to your partner, the first segment of this episode will help you sort out what might be going on.
Sometimes your partner has reached their “giving” limit and it may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with how much energy they have left for themselves.
In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares her multiple traumas and expresses how this show has helped her live a better life. I expand upon her comments and say that to experience a ‘better life’, you need to build a solid foundation inside yourself so that you will have a place to land when you fall.
And you will fall! So keep that foundation intact. Plus, you don’t have to go through the struggles alone. That’s why this show and many other resources exist.
In segment three, a woman writes to me and says that she doesn’t seem to be learning the lessons fast enough for her boyfriend. She feels overwhelmed and even though he teaches her a lot of ways to work through things, she’s starting to build resentment. Hmm… maybe she is getting advice that she’s not necessarily asking for? Not sure, but a great message to explore nonetheless.
Sometimes unsolicited advice can do that. It can build resentment because the person getting the advice may not be in the right space for it. It’s like when someone recommends a book to you and you go check it out only to find out that it isn’t helpful at all. Then 10 years later you see that same book and suddenly it’s exactly what you needed.
You might need to go through some other life lessons that prepare you to be in a space where a particular piece of advice or direction works for you. Always go in the direction that works for you. If you have a helper friend that gives great advice, their words may not always work. Not because it isn’t good advice, but because you haven’t reached a place where that advice really sticks.
Self-empowered action is usually the best course of action, but it takes special people to understand that and leave you on the path you’re on until you ask them for help. Then, you might just learn something that stays with you forever.
During the close of the show, I talk about how to live contently with strong desires. Is it possible?
Sometimes it seems completely futile because desires can get so overpowering. The desire to cheat, the desire to lie, the desire to steal, and other desires you probably don’t want anyone to know about.
I don’t think the goal is to get rid of your desires, I think it’s to fulfill them in a healthy way. If you can figure out what’s missing in your life first then write those things down, you’ll be clear on what you need to fulfill in yourself.
There’s more to it than just that of course. For instance, one step toward fulfilling your needs is to do it from a place of desire without desperation. Once you bring desperation into the mix, you’ll likely repel what you want to attract. There’s a science behind the concept of ‘what you focus on is what you’ll see and get more of’, but there’s also a faith that might need to be adopted that what you desire in your life, when it’s not motivated by desperation, could be what desires you too.
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