Financial struggles, family problems, arguments, abuse and more… will your faith in love be enough to get you through the tough times? I read a letter from a young man who wonders if love is enough to get through anything. To add a bit of challenge on top of that, what if that love is only one-sided?
Love is supporting the other person’s path and wanting them to be happy. When you start with that, it can blossom outward from there. If you start with anything less, you may not have room for anything more.
In segment 2, I read a letter from a woman who’s partner cheated on her multiple times. Her partner knows he has a problem but “can’t help it.” He believes that marriage will resolve the problem and cure him of this addiction.
How long do you accept bad behavior? How much abuse will you tolerate?
If there are problems in your relationship today, they will only get worse when you get married. You must create a solid, healthy, loving and supportive foundation before you get married.
Marriage amplifies problems – it does not solve them.
This woman tolerates her partner’s affairs. Not only does this make her more resilient to the emotional abuse going on, but it creates what I call a “co-dysfunctional relationship“.
Dysfunctional behavior exacerbates dysfunctional behavior.
The more she tolerates his dysfunction, the more she enables him to do it. This is a disservice to both of them. Her acceptance doesn’t give him the motivation to change and keeps her in a situation that is unhealthy for her. It’s not up to her to change him, of course, but one of them has to take a step in a healthy direction in order for both of them to get out of their pattern. Typically, the one doing the bad behavior will not be the one to take that step, so she has a big choice in front of her.
In segment 3, is there a battle in your mind about the difference between honoring your personal boundaries and being selfish? Are you crippled with indecision because you’re worried that honoring yourself might be seen as selfish?
I clear this up in today’s episode. One thing I go over is that it’s so important to define who you are in the world.
Define yourself so that the world doesn’t define you for you.
When you define yourself, you can be yourself easily. And you won’t let others violate your boundaries.
Honoring your boundaries is not selfish (at least in the way most people define “selfish”). It comes from a confident place of knowing who you are and what you will and won’t accept in your life.
During the closing of the show, I talk to those who are loving, kind, compassionate and generous. Often, people like this will let bad and abusive people in their life simply because they have a big heart. Not only that, they’ll keep those kind of people in their life too. I highlight the wonderful aspects of this type of personality and also the dangers.
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