I’ve been packing and cleaning for the last two days, and will be starting my journey from Oregon to New Hampshire either tomorrow or Thursday (haven’t decided yet). A friend asked me about the memories I have here and I couldn’t come up with any really good ones!
I’ve lived here for three years, and made some good friends, but I’ve hardly had any actual “experiences”. In other words, I’ve planted no emotional roots here. While living here, I spent most of my time in the house. Granted, I was saving money, but I missed out on planting those emotional roots.
That can be good, and bad. Good that I won’t really miss it here. I’m moving to what I call the other Oregon, except instead of rain, it’ll be snow. At least you can do things in the snow. I can’t think of too many rain-related activities… but I’m sure someone out there does something in cold, wet weather – just don’t know who that would be.
Are you creating experiences? Are you planting emotional roots? I made myself a promise that I would plant those emotional roots in New Hampshire. It doesn’t mean that’s where I’ll stay forever, but it will help bring value to my stay. Creating memories so that when I leave I can feel good remembering the place I was in, and the people I met, while there.
Here, I didn’t create those. In fact, there may be more not so good memories here than good ones.
Have experiences. DO things. Even if you have no money, you can still do things. It’s just a matter of experimenting and figuring out what brings you joy, or at least, takes you out of the house every now and then.
Our brains need stimulation. TV, movies and video games are the artificial stimulants that we usually feed it. But giving our brains actual stimulation that excites our external senses can be so much more gratifying. Even meeting a friend at a coffee shop is healthier for the brain than staring at a screen all day (something I’m quite guilty of).
So that’s my goal – more experiences. I have a bucket list started. I want things in my life that I am passionate about. I want to pursue adventure, or at least a little more socializing. And I want to look at yesterday and go Wow, that was cool.
 | Paul Colaianni Paul Colaianni is an Emotional Abuse Expert and Behavior and Relationship Specialist who has been analyzing complex relationship dynamics since 2010. As the creator of the Healed Being program and host of the top-rated Love and Abuse and The Overwhelmed Brain podcasts, with over 21 million downloads worldwide, he specializes in helping people recognize hidden manipulation, navigate emotionally abusive relationships, and empower themselves to make informed decisions. |
