Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection


codependence alcoholic drug addiction

Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them. You usually see this kind of thing between a helper / people-pleaser and a drug addict or an alcoholic. Of course, even someone who is just needy or desperate for attention can be the second half of a codependent relationship. In either case, there is the dysfunction of one person continuing to support the dysfunctional behavior of another. It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.

One person gets their needs met more and more, while the other builds resentment, but keeps on giving in to the needs of the other. I figured it was about time I talked about something I am quite familiar with from both sides! [Read more…]

Questioning Your Truths – The Philosophy of Belief


beliefs and truthThere’s a program running in the background of your mind that drives almost all of your behavior, and that’s called your “philosophy”. Your philosophy is made up of all the beliefs and assumptions that you have about the world. Many of these beliefs and assumptions are never questioned, just followed – sometimes blindly. We dive into the philosophy that drives our decisions and actions in this episode. It might require your thinking cap, but it could be the door you were looking for to help you create and accept the changes you want to make in your life. [Read more…]

Judgment – The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer


judgment and emotional triggersJudgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship, as it tells the other person that it’s not okay to be themselves. This builds resentment in them, and will eventually crumble even the most intimate relationships. If it doesn’t crumble, then it suffers. Today’s episode is how our triggers form our judgments, and how our judgments can ruin our life if we don’t learn what to do with them.  [Read more…]

Knowing is a box – The Commitment to Open Mindedness


Happiness depression overwhelmed

Have you ever known something to be true, only to find out you were completely wrong? I’ve had arguments with people where half-way through I figured out I was wrong, but I still held my ground because of my commitment to winning. It’s time to learn how to create and keep an open mind so that you are flexible in all of life’s challenges.  “Knowing” something limits what more you can know, but admitting that you don’t know everything opens the the door to endless possibilities.

Sounds like a great topic for discussion!

[Read more…]

Honoring Your Personal Boundaries – Revisited


honor your boundaries

What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect your deserve? You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal boundaries. Doing this shows the world who you really are, and what behavior is okay, and what is not.

You are worthy and deserve respect. Honor and respect yourself, and you’ll soon find that you are creating the life you want. [Read more…]

Dealing With the Victim Mentality


victim mentality

There are true victims in the world, then there are chronic complainers who keep themselves in a victimized state, closing the door to progress, healing and growth.

It could have started in childhood, or sprung up when they were older, but those who have a victim mentality know one thing for sure: Nothing ever works out for them.

This belief system keeps them in a rut, and prevents them from seeing options that could be right in front of them.

Are you a self-perpetuating victim? Listen in and find out! [Read more…]

Empowerment Through Vulnerability


vulnerabilityEmotions rise up from our core self, where we are both most vulnerable and powerful. When we can live from this core place inside of us, we can be authentic. When that happens, we are empowered to be our true selves.

Align your thoughts and feelings with your behavior, and you have a recipe for true success in your life. Step into your power in this episode. [Read more…]

Infidelity – An Overlooked Warning Sign and Healing in the Aftermath


infidelity and cheatingInfidelity is one of the most painful experiences you can have next to losing a child, at least according to one therapist I talked to. The pain that is created from the betrayal is inevitable, and much healing will be needed in the aftermath. I discuss the one sign you need to pay attention to most when you suspect cheating in your relationship. I also talk about working through and healing in the aftermath.

[Read more…]

Releasing Emotional Triggers in Relationships


emotional triggers

Emotional triggers are the surprises that we get when someone we love, or a situation, causes us to have a reaction that we haven’t processed yet. If you were yelled at as a child, and you attached fear to being yelled at, then you might get triggered as an adult when someone around you as yelling.

Triggers are childhood beliefs that aren’t necessarily true anymore, and need to be addressed to save your relationships. Once you release your old triggers, you can view the world from an entirely different place, instead of through the eyes of a fearful child. [Read more…]

Repressed emotions cause harm to the body


repressed emotional painThe deepest recesses of our subconscious mind are where our repressed, negative thoughts and emotions linger, causing harm to both our daily thought processes and our body! Want to know why thinking positively doesn’t seem to work sometimes? It’s because we’re holding on to some deeper stuff that needs released. And what happens when you release this stuff? Positive thinking comes naturally. No affirmations needed for today’s episode.

[Read more…]

Practicing Presence in a World of Past Hurts and Future Worries


The present moment in the now

Presence is that state where the past doesn’t exist, and the future hasn’t been written. It’s what’s in the now. Eckhart Tolle and many other spiritual teachers talk about it. It’s that place where past hurts and future worries seem to dissolve, so that you can experience what’s really happening instead of the picture your mind is painting of reality.

It’s clarity. And it’s what we’re here to talk about today.
[Read more…]

How to Give to Others Without Giving Up Too Much of Yourself


giving from compassionGiving doesn’t have to be self-sacrifice, it can be warm and wonderful. But we all have a limit to what we give. Whether we’re talking about money, time or energy, giving comes from two places: Ego and / or Compassion.

Giving from compassion gets instant returns of good feelings. Giving from the ego gets a quick high or a quick low, but nothing long-lasting.

Learning to give to yourself first and foremost is how you give to others. How? Listen and find out!

[Read more…]

The Overwhelmed Brain Celebrates Fifty Episodes: Top Ten Takeaways and Celebratory Moments


The Overwhelmed BrainLife lessons, flashbacks, audio clips, and lots more in this celebration of 50 episodes. It’s a long one: An hour and 20 minutes, but it covers so much! You’ll hear a few former guests with their wisdom, some of the darker days of The Overwhelmed Brain, a celebration of audio clips and the best part of all: Your learning, growth and healing.

It’s a one of a kind episode, and won’t happen again until episode 100. So enjoy the learnings and fun. And I’m glad to have made it to the golden anniversary of the show. 50 episodes!

You are amazing.

[Read more…]

Ending Suffering and Moving Towards Inner Peace


suffering Eckhart Tolle PeaceWhat is suffering? Is it the same as pain? Can they be separate, so that any suffering you experience can be diminished or eliminated altogether? Another deep episode where I share some practical steps you can take to stop suffering, and find your path to inner peace. I promise, I only mention meditation once. The rest of it, you may be surprised by.  [Read more…]

That “Blink” Moment and Making The Right Decisions


Malcolm Gladwell Blink

The first decision that pops in your mind is what Malcolm Gladwell calls your “blink” moment. It’s that feeling or thought you get before you consciously think about the situation.

Should you trust your blink moments? Are the true answers to life’s challenges in those few milliseconds before conscious thought kicks in? And the real question, can you trust that blink moment, to the exclusion of rational thought?

This is a deep episode, but if you’ve been wanting to learn how to make better and faster decisions, it’s time to make the decision and listen!

[Read more…]

Optimism, Pessimism and Creating the Life You Want


Optimism and pessimismIt’s okay to be pessimistic, especially if months or years of optimism don’t work. In this episode, we go over the underlying strategies or “programs” you have deep down that motivate you to move toward things you want and away from things you don’t want.

Wait, did I say it’s okay to be pessimistic? Yup. When what you’re doing doesn’t work, do something else. Better yet, be “realistic” to create the most change in your life.

When you figure out what motivates you in life, you’ll figure out how to create the life you want. [Read more…]

Clearing the Path to Happiness


happiness is intrinsicAttaining happiness seems to be the pursuit of so many people. Those who look outside of themselves seem to find temporary means, but those who go inside reveal happiness, where it was all along.

I talk about that in this deep episode of clearing the obstacles to revealing the happiness inside.

I wrote a book based on this episode, you’ll love it! Click here.
[Read more…]

How to Deal With Irrational People

irrational behavior


Irrational behavior is one of the most difficult behaviors to deal with. When someone is being irrational, they don’t listen to reason, logic, or even common sense. They are laser focused to fulfill a need. And, until that need is fulfilled, or they snap out of it, they are unpredictable and sometimes even dangerous. In this episode, we talk about some of the ways to communicate, and even “reel in” irrational people, to bring them back to a calmer, more rational state of being.  [Read more…]

Building Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, While Avoiding the Ego Trap


self-esteemBuilding self-worth is something that happens in childhood, and relies on people and events outside of you, whereas building self-esteem is a culmination of all the years of self-worth, and is something that relies on how you feel about yourself.

Then ego comes in and tries to spoil the road to high self-esteem, but there are ways to build and nurture all three so that you can tackle life a lot easier when the challenges present themselves. [Read more…]

Avoiding and Eliminating Humiliation and Embarrassment

Source: Girl slipping on a banana --- Image by © Liam Norris/cultura/Corbis

Source: Girl slipping on a banana — Image by © Liam Norris/cultura/Corbis

Fear of embarrassment and going through humiliation set the stage for today’s episode. There are steps you can take to avoid humiliating situations, and steps you can take to squash bad feelings after an embarrassing situation occurs.

Even the embarrassing events of years past can pop up over and over again, especially when people you know keep rehashing it. If you want to stop reliving the past, or get over the shame, or even what you might consider the unforgivable stuff you may have done, this is the episode you don’t want to miss.  [Read more…]