The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

The pain you sometimes need to go through to increase your quality of life

The level of happiness and fulfillment you feel on a day to day basis can change based on many factors. One of those factors has to do with the ability to make hard decisions that may involve big changes that you’re not ready to face.

The fear and pain associated with change can often prevent us from doing what we need to do to increase our quality of life.

However, sometimes the lesson is that in order to reach a higher level of satisfaction in life, it might involve scary steps you don’t want to take. 

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Happiness dissolves when you don’t let other people know what your boundaries are

What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect you deserve?

You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal boundaries. Doing this shows the world who you really are, and what behavior is okay, and what is not.

You are worthy and deserve respect. Honoring yourself shows the world the type of behavior you will and won’t accept, improving your relationships and keeping you not only happier, but sane!

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The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

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Find the Right Teacher – When everything fails and nothing works out

Have you ever listened to a motivational speaker and decided that you were going to make huge changes in your life – then a couple of days after the seminar you lost all your motivation?

This has happened to me at least three times in my life. It took me several years to realize that motivation is a great short-term solution but a terrible long-term strategy.

What’s the fire underneath that needs to be burning in order for you to follow through with the huge changes you want to make in your life? In segment one of this episode, I talk about motivation and what it takes to really start creating change in your life. (Hint: It’s not about attending more motivational seminars).

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Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation

When you get angry, frustrated or upset toward someone else, how quickly do you recover? Would you like to recover faster and get into a better space?

In segment one, I go over the five questions you can ask yourself that might just bring you out of the bad feeling you’re in. For segment two, I share how you might be feeding the dysfunctions of others in your life. If you feed someone else’s dysfunction, they’ll continue to show up in a way you don’t like over and over again.

In segment three, I talk about commitment and how just because you signed up for life, doesn’t mean you have to see it through – especially if the person you’re with has changed the rules and isn’t keeping up with their end of the bargain.

 

Changing someone’s life – Tackling your insecurities

Segment 1: If you want to change someone’s life, sometimes all it takes is a heartfelt “Thank You” or compliment. But not in passing.

A thank you or compliment that makes them stop and process it can be quite powerful. [Read more…]