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Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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What to do when the judgments come out of you

What to do when the judgments come out of you
What to do when the judgments come out of you
Episode play icon
What to do when the judgments come out of you
September 9, 2020

Are you judgmental toward those you love? In this episode, I talk about how your judgments can dissolve the love in your relationship. What can you do to heal from being judgmental?

The road to healing from judging others can be challenging, but the emotional and relationship rewards are too rich to pass up. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: My partner is always criticizing me, My partner is so judgmental toward me, My wife is always judging me, Why husband judges everything I do

Judgment – The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer

Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves.

This builds resentment in them and will eventually corrode even the most intimate relationships. Even if your relationship survives the corrosive effect of judgment, it still suffers.

This article explains how your emotional triggers form your judgments and how judging those closest to you can make you and everyone else around you miserable.

Judgment truly is the ultimate relationship destroyer. [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Beliefs, childhood, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Guilt, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: how to stop judging, Husband is so critical of me, judging in marriage, judging in relationship, judging my wife, Partner is always criticizing me

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Control, enabling, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Dealing with the victim mentality, How to deal with the chronic complainer, Some people are so dramatic

Is it ever okay to release toxic family?

I received an email from someone who was very angry with me. She said “You should be ashamed of yourself for teaching that it is okay to break ties with family!“

She was referencing an episode I did on toxic family members and how I said if they are too toxic to be around that it’s okay to part ways with them.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, enabling, Family, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Is it ever okay to release toxic family?, letting go of toxic family, Releasing toxic family members

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Episode play icon
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
October 21, 2018

Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Codependency, Communication, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Are you enabling bad behavior?, When people mistreat you

Finding your true path so you don’t end up living a false life

Finding your true path so you don't end up living a false life
Finding your true path so you don't end up living a false life
Episode play icon
Finding your true path so you don't end up living a false life
October 7, 2018

Trying to find happiness is hard enough, but trying to do it when other people are in your life (or are interfering with your life) is even harder.

The first email I read on this episode is from someone who has a problem with his girlfriend smoking pot. He wants the relationship, but not the pot.

The second email dives into how deeply religious parents might want to continue controlling you even after you leave the nest. This episode is all about finding your true path and making the decision to follow it.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Control, Family, Marriage, Passion, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Spirituality, Values Tagged With: Finding your true path so you don't end up living a false life, follow your passion, parents control my life

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