People Pleaser Archives - The Overwhelmed Brain

Happiness dissolves when you don’t let other people know what your boundaries are

May 1, 2020 By Paul Colaianni 2 Comments

What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect you deserve?

You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal boundaries. Doing this shows the world who you really are, and what behavior is okay, and what is not.

You are worthy and deserve respect. Honoring yourself shows the world the type of behavior you will and won’t accept, improving your relationships and keeping you not only happier, but sane! [Read more…]

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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

April 7, 2019 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

Listen to this episode (1:2:11)

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1:2:11

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?

Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?

In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.

Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.

To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast.

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The Ultimate Guide to People-Pleasing

March 31, 2019 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

Listen to this episode (1:12:10)

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1:12:10

The Ultimate Guide to People-Pleasing

If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention or fear of confrontation, then this is for you!

As a former people-pleaser myself, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become very proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to be the best people-pleaser possible.

Are you ready? Here they are:

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Living life on your terms

November 25, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

Listen to this episode (1:13:58)

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1:13:58

Living life on your terms

How many decisions do you make in your life that are actually based on what you want instead of how someone else will respond?

Sometimes it takes a swift kick in the emotional behind to get moving on your decisions so that you can get out of the emotional rut of trying to please others while losing yourself.

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Difficult Relationship Moments Shouldn’t Turn Into Lasting Misery

November 15, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.

She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.

She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”

I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.

She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it. [Read more…]

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