How many times have you broken up or got dumped in your life? And how many times was it a piece of cake?
The end of a relationship is rarely easy. It’s possible things could go smoothly, but it doesn’t usually happen. However, how much it hurts may have a lot to do with how much you nurture yourself before a breakup happens.
When you get together with someone special, you create almost a third entity in the relationship. There’s you, your partner, and then “us”. This new entity has its own friends and its own experiences in life as if it were another person. Not only do you enjoy time as yourself, but you get to play in the world as you and “us”, giving you the best of both worlds.
It isn’t always the best, as relationships don’t always go so well. Then if you do break up, you can feel hurt and even betrayed. Then the one person you always turned to express and share things with isn’t there anymore.
What now? You feel alone and left behind.
It’s vital, right now, whether you’re in a relationship or not that you start supporting, nurturing, and loving yourself so that you build and keep a strong connection to your identity. Many people can jump headfirst into a relationship and lose themselves in it to the point that when it ends, they feel like a huge part of them disappeared. This isn’t far from the truth because we can intertwine our identity with the identity of the relationship and be a part of it from that point on.
Nurturing yourself however keeps the connection to you prevalent and important. Taking “me time” to do things you want to do for yourself, whether that’s going to watch a movie you want to see or taking yourself out for ice cream, or whatever it is for you is crucial to keep yourself fulfilled whether you’re in a relationship or not.
No one wants to break up. It’s always more fun to be with someone you love and share experiences. But when they’re not around, it’s time to do the same for yourself. Moreover, do that for yourself even when they are around! Keep that important connection with you so that you don’t lose yourself entirely in a relationship. “Us” isn’t always stable, but you are. You are always going to be there for you, so take care of you.
If you’re single, show yourself you care and do something you love to do. If you’re in a relationship, show yourself you care and do something you love to do. Yes, either way, it’s self-nurturing which is important to keep who you are intact and as healthy as possible so when bad news comes your way, you’ll have someone in you to count on to help pull you through it.
