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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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How some life choices bring on your own suffering

How some life choices bring on your own suffering
How some life choices bring on your own suffering
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How some life choices bring on your own suffering

You can be around people that mistreat you, call you names, and are just downright nasty, and you could still be responsible for your own suffering because of how they show up in your life.

It’s vital you know the role you play and if you have a choice other than the one you’re making in certain situations otherwise you could find yourself in a whirlwind of hurt that might be completely avoidable.

Filed Under: Compassion, Decisions, Empathy, Podcast Episode, Self-Worth, Suffering, Toxic People Tagged With: Decision making that leads to suffering, How to make the right decisions, Why do I keep sabotaging my happiness

When loved ones resist the decisions you need to make for yourself

When loved ones resist the decisions you need to make for yourself
When loved ones resist the decisions you need to make for yourself
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When loved ones resist the decisions you need to make for yourself
July 26, 2020

Sometimes you have to make hard decisions for yourself. Your decisions may affect how people perceive you, causing them to resist what you’re doing.

Unfortunately, those that don’t support the decisions we make for ourselves are often stuck in how it’s going to affect them instead of benefit you.

In this episode, I read a message from a transgender man who experienced many challenges growing up and thinks he’s finally over the toughest parts. I give him my thoughts and also talk about how you can make life’s bigger decisions as well.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Addiction, anxiety, Ask Paul, Blog article, Compassion, Decisions, Depression, Femininity, Finding peace, Humiliation, Identity, Masculinity, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Presence, Rejection Tagged With: How to make a big decision for yourself even when people resist, The challenges of telling people you want to be transgender, There are many more challenges in your life as a LGBQIT person

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
April 7, 2019

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?

Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?

In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.

Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.

To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: anxiety, Codependency, Compassion, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: compassion for others, is your compassion killing you?

Investigating gut feelings in relationships

Investigating gut feelings in relationships
Investigating gut feelings in relationships
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Investigating gut feelings in relationships
September 9, 2018

When you get that suspicious feeling that a friend, family member, or partner is doing something deceptive, do you investigate further? Or do you take their word when they say nothing is going on?

When that gut instinct kicks in, it’s time to listen and perhaps even dig a little deeper just to get to the truth.

Also in this episode, I revisit values and what steps to take to show yourself love, respect and compassion so that you don’t end up in toxic relationships.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Betrayal, Compassion, Deception, Infidelity, Intuition, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Values Tagged With: Following your instinct, Getting manipulated, have suspicions of betrayal, staying out of toxic relationships

Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not?

Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
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Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
December 3, 2017

Segment 1: Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date?

There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss.

Segment 2: If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Codependency, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Attracting higher quality partners, Feeling sorry for those that abuse you, Try try again or do or do not?

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