Have you ever tried to tell someone they were doing something you don’t like, or that they were just outright wrong, but they turned it around on you and put you on the defense? [Read more…]
Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more?
There are two ways to compromise:
One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t.
I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.
One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.
She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.
She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”
I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.
She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it. [Read more…]
Trying to find happiness is hard enough, but trying to do it when other people are in your life (or are interfering with your life) is even harder.
The first email I read on this episode is from someone who has a problem with his girlfriend smoking pot. He wants the relationship, but not the pot.
The second email dives into how deeply religious parents might want to continue controlling you even after you leave the nest. This episode is all about finding your true path and making the decision to follow it.
When you end up in a miserable relationship, who’s to blame? Do you feel powerless as the relationship gets worse and worse?
It’s vital to see the signs at the beginning, but it’s even more important what you do later on when you are heavily invested.
To know how to make better relationship choices and avoid costly ones, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast.