The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Are difficult people really doing the best they can?

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Are difficult people really doing the best they can?
Are difficult people really doing the best they can?
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Are difficult people really doing the best they can?
November 14, 2021

Everyone is capable of improving themselves, at least in the way they treat others.

The problem is that some people are not ready to change. At least, not in the moment. So sometimes we have to see people for who they are today, not who we, or they, believe they will become tomorrow.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Marriage, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Can hurtful people change?, When will they stop emotionally abusing me?, Why can't they see they are hurting me?

Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves you

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Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves you
Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves you
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Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves you
April 5, 2020

Can you get back up after a big fall? If you’re struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you’d hoped.

The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components.

What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing from your life can make a big change.

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Family, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: Am I holding on for too long?, How can I let the past go?, Should I let things go or hold on to them?

Should you be more tolerant of bad behavior when they can’t control themselves?

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Should you be more tolerant of bad behavior when they can’t control themselves?
Should you be more tolerant of bad behavior when they can’t control themselves?
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Should you be more tolerant of bad behavior when they can’t control themselves?
July 25, 2021

Sometimes we can’t help ourselves. Anger can come out of the blue and suddenly, we’re hurting someone we care about. 

I received an email from someone who believes that sometimes you need people in your life to understand that you are going to get upset now and again, and they should be empathetic for your inability to control it. They have ADHD and have a challenge controlling the emotions that come up. 

What is the solution? Should those you love be more tolerant of hurtful behavior or should they put you in your place, telling you to stop or else?

Filed Under: anger, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: How much bad behavior can I tolerate?, How tolerant of bad behavior should I be?, Other people make my problem their problem

Taking the blame for their behavior

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Taking the blame for their behavior
Taking the blame for their behavior
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Taking the blame for their behavior
September 20, 2020

Are you taking the blame for other people’s bad behavior more often than you should?

If so, maybe there’s something a bit more covert going on that you need to know about.

Some people have mastered the art of painting you into a corner. Because of that, you will feel responsible even when it’s clear they are the ones behaving badly.

If you want to learn how to counter this type of behavior, keep reading. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: I always take the blame, I feel like I am to blame for everything, My partner always blames me

What to do when the judgments come out of you

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What to do when the judgments come out of you
What to do when the judgments come out of you
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What to do when the judgments come out of you
September 9, 2020

Are you judgmental toward those you love? In this episode, I talk about how your judgments can dissolve the love in your relationship. What can you do to heal from being judgmental?

The road to healing from judging others can be challenging, but the emotional and relationship rewards are too rich to pass up. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: My partner is always criticizing me, My partner is so judgmental toward me, My wife is always judging me, Why husband judges everything I do

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