One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.
She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.
She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”
I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.
She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it. [Read more…]
Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?
If you find yourself angry or upset with someone in your life, I made up this short “emotion inversion” process to help you come to a different understanding of the situation and what you are truly upset about.