The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again

The best relationship, job or event in your life flashes by and now you are afraid that’s the best there ever was and it will never be that good again.

When you use the words, “never”, “ever”, and “always”, you set up your present and future for a daily misery that never ends. It’s time to examine the language we use and make sure we are not setting up our reality to be a nightmare.

When you just can’t figure out why you’re unhappy

What do you do when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and feel like you’ve addressed the toughest issues in your life but still feel as if there is something missing?

What’s the secret to figuring out what’s keeping you from feeling fulfilled? By asking yourself the right questions, you’ll get the answers you need.

There’s a unique mind-mapping technique in this episode to help you figure out why you’re unhappy. 

Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family

Do you blame everyone else for what happens to you in your life?

In segment one, I argue that even when everything that goes wrong in your life is someone else’s fault, you can still get the results you want by doing one thing: Accepting responsibility for your role in what happens to you.

It’s a new way to create and measure your success so that you can come up with a game plan that’s right for you. [Read more…]

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and / or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one. [Read more…]