Victim Mentality Archives - The Overwhelmed Brain

Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship

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Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship

September 26, 2021

I read three emails from people in three different circumstances. The first one is about a troubled marriage where the wife doesn’t know why she is staying and can’t figure out how to make the decision to leave.

Segment two is about dealing with the victim mentality and what questions you can ask a chronic complainer in order to get them to do something about what they’re complaining about.

Segment three is about a wife who discovered her husband watches porn and since then their once happy, amazing marriage is now in shambles with little hope for the future. Lots to talk about in this episode!

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic.

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering.

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

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The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again

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The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again

August 26, 2018

The best relationship, job, or event in your life flashes by, and now you are afraid that’s the best there ever was and it will never be that good again.

When you use the words, “never,” “ever,” and “always,” you set up your present and future for a daily misery that never ends. It’s time to examine the language we use and make sure we are not setting up our reality to be a nightmare.

When you just can’t figure out why you’re unhappy

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When you just can’t figure out why you’re unhappy

July 15, 2018

What do you do when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and feel like you’ve addressed the toughest issues in your life but still feel as if there is something missing?

What’s the secret to figuring out what’s keeping you from feeling fulfilled? By asking yourself the right questions, you’ll get the answers you need.

There’s a unique mind-mapping technique in this episode to help you figure out why you’re unhappy.

Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

October 1, 2017

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.