Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
Some people have a strange way of balancing their lives. Some folks will pick up a hobby or hang out with friends.
But others may take a darker route. They’ll betray their partner or become addicted to drugs or alcohol. You may not see that as balance, but for those people, that’s how they get it.
There are of course healthier ways to balance your life & your relationships, but in this episode, we’re going to talk about the less popular ones.
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Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?
In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid-sounding reason for why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic.
The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change, nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering.
If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.
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If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?
Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?
In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.
Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.
To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast.
If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this article is for you.
As a former people-pleaser, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.
Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills by reading this article.
This article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek but also contains an important reminder about how people-pleasing almost always leads to unhappiness.
Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:
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I received an email from someone who was very angry with me. She said “You should be ashamed of yourself for teaching that it is okay to break ties with family!“
She was referencing an episode I did on toxic family members and how I said if they are too toxic to be around that it’s okay to part ways with them. [Read more…]
