The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When you feel their ex is unsafe for your relationship

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His ex is unsafe for our relationship
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When your partner wants to stay friends with an ex who clearly still has feelings for them, it can feel like a threat to your relationship. You might feel unsafe, disrespected, or worried that they’re not prioritizing you.

These feelings are valid. But the way you handle them can either strengthen your relationship or slowly erode it.

The real issue isn’t usually about the ex at all. It’s often about trust, insecurity, and whether you’re trying to control your partner’s choices to manage your own fears.

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Filed Under: Control, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Triggers, Insecurity, Jealousy, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: I do not trust my partner around their ex, I feel insecure when my partner talks to their ex, My partner says I am being controlling about their ex, My partner wants to stay friends with their ex and it makes me uncomfortable

What you don’t bring up will come up

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What you don't bring up will come up
What you don't bring up will come up

If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding back in love because of past fears, it’s probably affecting your current relationship.

If you’re worried you might be hurt, you may just prevent love from reaching its fullest potential.

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Filed Under: Emotional Triggers, Fears, Relationships, Vulnerability Tagged With: Everything feels great but I'm scared to be honest, I don't know if they love me as much as I love them, I'm afraid to tell them how I really feel, Where is my relationship going?

My abusive ex wants me to sit next to him at our child’s wedding

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My abusive ex wants me to sit next to him at our child’s wedding
My abusive ex wants me to sit next to him at our child’s wedding
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My abusive ex wants me to sit next to him at our child’s wedding

A mom doesn’t want to sit next to her abusive ex during her child’s wedding, but doesn’t want to come across as selfish.

Is it selfish to make healthy choices that will keep you happy and safe? If you find yourself making decisions to keep others happy, it might be time to consider what that costs you in the long run.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Emotional Triggers, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Toxic People Tagged With: I didn’t have boundaries in my marriage and now I feel selfish trying to prioritize my happiness, I don’t want my past relationship to overshadow my child’s special day, I feel pressure to sit with my ex at my child’s wedding but it feels wrong, My ex wants to control where I sit and I don’t know how to say no

The quirks that might make others judge us

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The quirks that might make others judge us
The quirks that might make others judge us
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The quirks that might make others judge us

A self-described “germaphobe” shared with me their challenging experience at a work function. The presence of food triggered an embarrassing moment for them, which ultimately led to tears.

When you have behaviors and nuances that others might judge you for, do you hide them from the world? Should you?

Sometimes, we can’t hide who we are.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: childhood, Emotional Triggers, Obsession, Resources, Therapy Tagged With: How do I stop obsessing?, I am embarrassed about a work incident, I'm a germaphobe

Those intrusive, invading and disturbing thoughts that you try to resist and repress

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Those intrusive, invading and disturbing thoughts that you try to resist and repress
Those intrusive, invading and disturbing thoughts that you try to resist and repress
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Those intrusive, invading and disturbing thoughts that you try to resist and repress
July 7, 2019

When your thoughts make you feel bad because you believe you shouldn’t have them, you might repress them and stuff them back where they came from. However, doing this might be exactly what keeps those negative, intrusive thoughts alive.

My girlfriend and I recently faced a challenging issue related to our mental and physical well-being, specifically involving depression. I’m sharing our experience because it may introduce a component of being well that you may not have considered in your own mental health journey.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Depression, Emotional Triggers, Relationships, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Environmental Impact on Mental Health, evil thoughts, Physical factors on depression

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