The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress

I'm right you're wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
I'm right you're wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
Episode play icon
I'm right you're wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
October 14, 2018

If they’re not like you, you don’t like them. If you’re not like them, they don’t like you.

You have opinions, so do they, but should your differences separate you and cause you so much stress that you would rather lose relationships than accept people for their differences?

This is a full episode with many angles, including social awkwardness and social anxiety.

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Communication, Judgment Tagged With: social anxiety, taking sides with people, what to do about social awkwardness

One Way to Turn Anger and Upset Around

If you find yourself angry or upset with someone in your life, I made up this short “emotion inversion” process to help you come to a different understanding of the situation and what you are truly upset about.

To “invert” an emotion is to take back the control it has over you. If you feel trapped by the grip of a negative emotion, regaining control of that emotion will give you back your power and maybe even give you the opportunity to cause the emotion to go away completely.   [Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Behavior, Control, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Thinking Tagged With: From Anger and Upset to Okay, The Emotion Inversion Technique, Turning anger and upset around

Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation

Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
Episode play icon
Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
February 18, 2018

When you get angry, frustrated or upset toward someone else, how quickly do you recover? Would you like to recover faster and get into a better space?

In segment one, I go over the five questions you can ask yourself that might just bring you out of the bad feeling you’re in. For segment two, I share how you might be feeding the dysfunctions of others in your life. If you feed someone else’s dysfunction, they’ll continue to show up in a way you don’t like over and over again.

In segment three, I talk about commitment and how just because you signed up for life, doesn’t mean you have to see it through – especially if the person you’re with has changed the rules and isn’t keeping up with their end of the bargain.

 

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Behavior, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: Commitment to commitment, Enabling Abusive People, enabling dysfunctional people, Enabling Toxic Behavior, Turning anger and upset around

10 Steps to Keep Your Relationship from Slipping into Dysfunction

If your relationship has gone through its ups and downs but is now on a good path to prosper, you’ll probably want to keep it that way.

Here are ten steps you can take to make sure your relationship stays healthy and continues to blossom. For more of an in-depth look at each step, listen to the episode attached to this post. 

(after you read this article, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast for advice on how to avoid toxic behavior in relationships)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Forgiveness, Manipulation, Marriage, Rejection, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Keeping Your Relationship in Top Shape

Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Planning Your New Year

Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
Episode play icon
Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
December 31, 2017

Segment 1. Resolving issues before New Year’s resolutions is a better practice for some people.

If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it’s time to change when you make them. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Communication, Control, Decisions, Depression, Divorce, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People, Values, Worry Tagged With: Are You The Problem?, Free Will or Destiny, Planning Your New Year, Resolving Before New Years

Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Episode play icon
Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Do you allow people to take advantage of you?, Does your partner make you feel guilty?, When a parent starts dating "too soon"

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