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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Carrying around the burden of someone else’s secret

Carrying around the burden of someone else's secret
Carrying around the burden of someone else's secret
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Carrying around the burden of someone else's secret
May 8, 2022

What do you do when someone you care about tells you a secret that affects other people you care about? Do you follow your heart or your values? Does your moral compass activate and make you express the secret to those who should know?

A dilemma like this seems like it has no real good answer. But I’ll share what I went through and how I handled it.

Filed Under: anxiety, Conflict, Family, Friendships, Insecurity, Lying, Relationships Tagged With: Burden to carry a secret, Holding on to a secret

Should commitments always be a forever thing?

Should commitments always be a forever thing?
Should commitments always be a forever thing?
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Should commitments always be a forever thing?
July 12, 2020

Getting that job, buying that house, moving in with that person, promising to repay a debt… all commitments that that most of us go into with good intentions, but is it required to keep them no matter what?

Some commitments that started off as a good idea may need to be re-evaluated if what you thought was going to be great isn’t.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict, Decisions, Divorce, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Suffering, Toxic People Tagged With: Are you supposed to keep all your commitments?, When you need to break a promise, When you realize the commitment was a mistake

The risk and reward of standing up for what you know is right

Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
Episode play icon
Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
January 3, 2016

Taking a stand or protesting an injustice in your life isn’t always about being aggressive. Often, it can be a peaceful objection that helps you move toward honoring yourself.

Sometimes you have to take a bigger stand, even at the risk of loss. In this episode, I read an email from someone who didn’t appreciate my comments from the previous “Take a stand” episode I created. I talk about that and suggest a different approach to conflict resolution. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Communication, Conflict, Finding peace, Podcast Episode, Toxic People Tagged With: Protesting injustice, Taking a stand at the risk of loss

How to Deal with Highly Defensive People

defensive people

Highly defensive people are very sensitive to certain subjects causing them to go into a sort of fight or flight response. After all, why jump into a defensive posture unless you think there’s a threat? 

The threat is typically not realistic, but that’s only an outsider’s perspective because to the person with the defensive behavior, the threat could be very real to them. But what exactly are they threatened by?

I received a letter from a listener that was dealing with a defensive person at work. Her coworker would get very defensive whenever anyone would talk about “controversial subjects” around her. The letter writer didn’t tell me exactly which controversial subjects were being discussed, but I could only assume that they were the typical ones that most people have a very staunch opinion on. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Beliefs, Conflict, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries Tagged With: Always so argumentative, defensive people, My partner is always overreacting to everything, Why is he so defensive all the time?

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