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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When your top values aren’t being met, the rest of it falls apart

When your top values aren't being met, the rest of it falls apart
When your top values aren't being met, the rest of it falls apart
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When your top values aren't being met, the rest of it falls apart
May 3, 2020

When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren’t, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it’s platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value.

Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today.  

Filed Under: Depression, Healthy Thinking, Podcast Episode, Suffering, Values Tagged With: I keep sabotaging my relationships, Nothing ever works out for me, Why do I keep sabotaging my happiness?

How some life choices bring on your own suffering

How some life choices bring on your own suffering
How some life choices bring on your own suffering
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How some life choices bring on your own suffering

You can be around people that mistreat you, call you names, and are just downright nasty, and you could still be responsible for your own suffering because of how they show up in your life.

It’s vital you know the role you play and if you have a choice other than the one you’re making in certain situations otherwise you could find yourself in a whirlwind of hurt that might be completely avoidable.

Filed Under: Compassion, Decisions, Empathy, Podcast Episode, Self-Worth, Suffering, Toxic People Tagged With: Decision making that leads to suffering, How to make the right decisions, Why do I keep sabotaging my happiness

Should commitments always be a forever thing?

Should commitments always be a forever thing?
Should commitments always be a forever thing?
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Should commitments always be a forever thing?
July 12, 2020

Getting that job, buying that house, moving in with that person, promising to repay a debt… all commitments that that most of us go into with good intentions, but is it required to keep them no matter what?

Some commitments that started off as a good idea may need to be re-evaluated if what you thought was going to be great isn’t.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict, Decisions, Divorce, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Suffering, Toxic People Tagged With: Are you supposed to keep all your commitments?, When you need to break a promise, When you realize the commitment was a mistake

Learning the process of figuring out problems

Learning the process of figuring out problems
Learning the process of figuring out problems
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Learning the process of figuring out problems
May 6, 2018

What are the steps you need to take to figure out the challenges that come into your life? Is there a process?

Would you know what questions to ask if someone you know shared that they were going through some challenges?

Join Matthew Bivens and I as we talk about our process of discovering issues and how to dig down through the layers.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Decisions, Friendships, Healthy Thinking, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Resources, Suffering, Thinking, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: How do I know what my problem is?, My friend has a problem, What steps do I take to figure out my problem?

The life decision you regret – Never find true love again – Do you value yourself

The life decision you regret – Never find true love again – Do you value yourself
The life decision you regret – Never find true love again – Do you value yourself
Episode play icon
The life decision you regret – Never find true love again – Do you value yourself
April 1, 2018

In this episode, I talk about that one decision you regret not having made that could have changed your entire life for the better… or would it have been worse?

In segment two, what do you do when you lose the love of your life and realize you will never be happy again? Can you recover from losing “the one”?

In segment three, what filters do you wear that show you a world that isn’t really there? Are those filters serving you?

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Beliefs, Decisions, Divorce, Loss, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Regret, Relationships, Suffering, Thinking, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Do you value yourself, Never find true love again, The life decision you regret

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