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Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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“I am not the cause of the problem, you are!”

March 16, 2019 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

Have you ever tried to tell someone they were doing something you don’t like, or that they were just outright wrong, but they turned it around on you and put you on the defense? [Read more…]

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Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Emotional Abuse, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships Tagged With: defending yourself all the time, narcissistic abuse

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

October 21, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

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Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Codependency, Communication, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcasts, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Are you enabling bad behavior?, When people mistreat you

Investigating gut feelings in relationships

September 9, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • Investigating gut feelings in relationships

When you get that suspicious feeling that a friend, family member or partner is doing something deceptive, do you investigate further? Or do you take their word when they say nothing is going on?

When that gut instinct kicks in, it’s time to listen and perhaps even dig a little deeper just to get to the truth.

Also in this episode, I revisit values and what steps to take to show yourself love, respect and compassion so that you don’t end up in toxic relationships.

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Filed Under: Ask Paul, Betrayal, Compassion, Deception, Infidelity, Intuition, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Values Tagged With: Following your instinct, Getting manipulated, have suspicions of betrayal, staying out of toxic relationships

Can Your Relationship Heal After An Affair?

August 24, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

If you’ve been the victim or the perpetrator of infidelity, or you suspect that there might be cheating in your relationship, this article will help you understand several important aspects of the cheater’s behavior, the cheating partner’s perspective, and what both partners need to focus on if they are planning on saving the relationship after the affair is discovered.

Whether you want to save your relationship or not, this article will be a good resource to help you understand the perspective of both partners.

A relationship can survive infidelity if both partners want to work on it, but there are some challenging steps ahead for the couple on this path.

This article is a path to understanding the basic components of the cheater, cheating in general, and what it takes to create a successful relationship during the rebuilding process.  [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Communication, Deception, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Fears, Guilt, Infidelity, Jealousy, Loneliness, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Regret, Relationships, Sex, Values Tagged With: cheated on me, cheating husband, cheating wife, healing after cheating, healing from the affair, surviving infidelity, why do people cheat

When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools

August 5, 2018 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools

Your level of function or dysfunction as an adult is almost always determined by the most unhealthy or toxic people in your family growing up.

When you are raised by those who didn’t or couldn’t love and support you as you deserved, you may have developed “broken” tools to deal with situations as an adult. When your emotional toolbox has a bunch of broken tools, you may keep getting the results you don’t want, causing you to stay unhappy.

In this episode, I help you identify those broken tools and what you can do to start utilizing them the right way, or even fixing them altogether.

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Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Beliefs, childhood, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Family, Healing, Healthy Thinking, Manipulation, Narcissism, Neglect, Podcasts, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: don't know how to heal, dysfunctional childhood, No means to heal

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