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Is It Selfish or Self-Sustaining? – The Mom Who Wasn’t There – Obsession About Partner’s History

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Selfish or self-sustaining? – The mom who wasn’t there for me – Obsession about my partner’s history
Selfish or self-sustaining? – The mom who wasn’t there for me – Obsession about my partner’s history
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Selfish or self-sustaining? – The mom who wasn’t there for me – Obsession about my partner’s history
November 13, 2016
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What is acceptable to you, and what is not?
What is considered self-sustaining, and what is selfish?

I read an email from someone who’s in a constant battle in his mind, unsure if he’s honoring his personal boundaries or just being completely self-serving. He also gets into a debate and overanalyzes to the point of indecision.

There’s a way to decide, and it involves the question: What what you do if you were completely fearless or unafraid of the consequences?

That question will usually give you the right answer that honors your boundaries.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman whose mom never stepped in to help her kids when they were being abused. She’s forgiven her abuser, but not her mom. In fact, she feels abused by her mom even today because of her narcissistic tendencies.

Her emotional pendulum is stuck on one side and she hasn’t let it swing to the other side to find out what would happen if she truly honored herself with her mom. When dealing with difficult parents, it’s best to come from a place of “I love you, but this is a problem.” When you do that, you honor from a place of love.

For segment three, I talk about obsessing over your partner’s history, whether it’s all the great sex your partner had (and you feel insecure about it) or even the abuse they experienced (and you are overly empathetic and depressed about it).

Obsessing over your partner’s past keeps you in the past and keeps you from improving yourself to be the best person you can be in the relationship.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Family, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Am I being selfish?, honor my boundaries, How do I talk to my abusive mom?, Is It Selfish or Self-Sustaining?, Obsession About Partner's History, The Mom Who Wasn't There

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