What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?
What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?
Stop focusing on what you might not get and instead ask yourself if what you have right now is good for you.
The excuse machine starts to roar as soon as you take your focus off the here and now and decide to focus on what might or might not be later.
When you focus on The Later, you’ll have thoughts like this:
“Leaving this relationship will mean I’m alone.”
“I won’t find anyone better.”
“What about money, I’ll be broke if I leave!”
“I’ll never be happy again.”
When you focus on The Here and Now, your thoughts may be more along these lines:
“He disrespects me every day.”
“She lies to me and stays out all night.”
“He gets angry and hurts me when he’s drunk.”
“She makes me feel bad about myself.”
One focus will cause you to act, the other will keep things exactly the same as they are now. If you’re miserable now, you probably don’t want to stay where you are. So what are you focused on?
If you’re focused on what happens next and not focused on the toxic person or relationship right in front of you, your focus is in the wrong place. Being in a toxic relationship wears you out and wears you down. Every day it eats away until you wither and… well, you know the rest of the story.
Focus on the toxins in your life today.
What do you do when you have toxins in your system? You find a way to get rid of them. If those toxins are people, you may need to get out of the environment, or move those people away from you if possible.
Focusing on what’s bad for you instead of what might be worse is the best way to make the right decisions. It connects you with where you are now and will always lead you down a better path than one of fear.
Fear of a possible future always paints a picture that reaffirms procrastination as the best step.
However, taking action for what you need for yourself right here and now takes you out of fear mode and paints a future you have some control over.
Every unwanted moment brings another unwanted moment. So, what if you made this moment something you wanted? Do you think it would make the next moment something else you wanted?
The answer is yes. If you’re in a toxic relationship of any kind, make this moment count. Make it something that causes you to look back at the last moment and say, “I’m so glad I took that step!”
