When is a bad thing a good thing? When is a good thing bad? How attached are you to outcomes? I tell a quick Zen Buddhist parable that might make you think twice about the stressors in the world today, especially with the heated political climate and growing fears of what might happen next. Not everything is as it appears.
When you think there’s no way out – life opens a door. The door is good fortune and luck. Then when everything is going well, life throws you into a pit. Does it ever end? I get into the ebb and flow of life itself in this segment.
In segment two, I answer the question: “What do you do if there’s no way out of a situation?” A young man wants to know what he can do living with a toxic family that he can’t (or chooses not to) leave. Is it better to stay in a toxic situation because you don’t want to abandon those you love? Or is there a better way than “no way out”?
You might have to resort to tactics that are against your values just to get into alignment with your best outcome. It’s a controversial subject I’m sure you’ll find interesting.
In segment three, he knows there’s something wrong in the marriage and she won’t go to marriage counseling because she thinks it might as well be the end of the marriage. That’s quite a jump to a conclusion that seems more made up and grounded in some sort of passive message that something else might be going on.
What is your definition of marriage? Does it involve one person wanting to help the relationship and the other sitting around in denial of both their own and their spouse’s unhappiness? It might be time to ask the hard questions you don’t want to know the answers to just so you’ll have some idea of what’s going on.
Don’t not communicate… be honest and clear. You may have to be firm in asking what the real problem is, otherwise it will continue to go downhill until one of you experiences a meltdown!
At the end of this episode, I read a message from a very astute listener of TOB. She shares her four steps to a better life – even in the midst of dealing with her husband’s infidelity. Cheating and betrayal didn’t stop her from healing herself. She’s on a good ride that has a lot of ups and downs, but will be smarter and healthier in the end. It’s an inspiring letter and a great way to end the show. Enjoy!
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