Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
You made it. The conditions were rough yet you still accomplished what seemed like an impossible climb out of your own dysfunction in your relationship.
You went through all the healing, growing, learning, and evolving you could, and may have even given your partner the ultimatum to shape up or ship out so that your relationship had no choice but to shift into something new or fall apart completely.
You’ll never go back to the way it was. Is the relationship now “saved”?
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I often work with clients who’ve been to couple’s therapy but are still stuck where they are in the relationship. In fact, most of the time one partner is “fine” while the other is not. I’ve often found that the one who is not fine is also the one who is trying harder to save the relationship.
Sometimes I am puzzled when I see that the “fine” partner doesn’t see anything wrong, and points the finger at the other person.
“She’s the one with the problem!” or
“He’s the one that gets upset!“
If comments like that have ever come out of your partner’s mouth during a therapy session, then you are most likely in a troubling situation.
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One of the issues some of my coaching clients have is a partner that can’t seem to make up their mind.
Their partners know there are problems in the relationship, yet they still procrastinate or say things like, “Yeah, I know I have problems. I’m working on them.”
I know this response well because that used to be me! I used to say, “I know I have issues and I’m doing everything I can to work on them.” [Read more…]
I received an email from a woman I’ll call “Jenny”. Jenny is in quite an unempowering situation, being married to a man that simply doesn’t care about her. He makes decisions without her, he dismisses her, he disrespects her, and basically does anything he wants, and also expects her to do what he wants.
Jenny is in an unhappy marriage.
She reached out to me to thank me for helping her and many others that I don’t even realize. It’s true, I have no idea how many people read this blog or listen to the show until they write to me or mention The Overwhelmed Brain in an article somewhere online, so I was grateful to get her message.
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I received an email from a woman who’s husband cheated on her, then made her life a living hell during the divorce. She is depressed and has lost her desire for most things in life. Is there a solution to all of this? How do you get from defeated and controlled to empowered and in control when you’re going through a long, dirty divorce? [Read more…]