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Acceptance and Grieving the Breakup

One of the hardest life events to get over is a breakup or loss of someone we love.

When my wife left me, I was devastated. I was completely in shock and had no idea what to do. I actually fell to the floor and cried like a baby. That’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m willing to bet you understand what that’s like.

I felt truly loved and cherished by her. She was someone who finally understood me and loved me unconditionally, and I was losing her. I was angry and sad, and felt like I was being abandoned.

I was in a state of complete hopelessness.

I also came to the conclusion that she didn’t believe in marriage like I did. After all, how could she throw it all away? Why wouldn’t she work harder at this? In my head, I asked her, “Isn’t marriage important to you?” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Behavior, Divorce, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Rejection, Relationships Tagged With: couples counseling, divorce, how to accept the breakup, how to get over the sadness of breaking up, marriage trouble, relationships

Should You Divorce the Thoughts of Staying in a Bad Marriage?

I received an email from a woman I’ll call “Jenny”. Jenny is in quite an unempowering situation, being married to a man that simply doesn’t care about her. He makes decisions without her, dismisses her, disrespects her, basically does anything he wants, and also expects her to do what he wants. 

Jenny is in an unhappy marriage.

She reached out to me to thank me for helping her and many others. I was grateful to get her message. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Divorce, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: divorce, marriage, unhappy in relationship, When is it time for a divorce?

The Long, Dirty Divorce: Enduring The Emotional Drain of a Never-Ending Broken Marriage

The Long, Dirty Divorce Episode: Enduring The Emotional Drain of a Never-Ending Broken Marriage
The Long, Dirty Divorce Episode: Enduring The Emotional Drain of a Never-Ending Broken Marriage
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The Long, Dirty Divorce Episode: Enduring The Emotional Drain of a Never-Ending Broken Marriage
September 27, 2015

divorce marriage separation difficult lawyer attorney nastyI received an email from a woman whose husband cheated on her, then made her life a living hell during the divorce. She is depressed and has lost her desire for most things in life. Is there a solution to all of this?

How do you get from defeated and controlled to empowered and in control when you’re going through a long, dirty divorce? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Human Potential, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: cheating, divorce, Infidelity, marriage, relationship, separation

Do You Forgive? And a Little Bit on Shame

forgiveness shame guilt john gibson pastor ashleymadison.comForgiveness is not about other people, it’s about you. When you can learn to forgive yourself, even when you aren’t the one to blame, you let go of the negative emotions so that you can take the learnings into your future.

Also, I talk about John Gibson, the pastor who committed suicide after hackers revealed millions of user names and detailed information about the users from the Ashley Madison infidelity and cheating site. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Beliefs, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Shame, Toxic People Tagged With: divorce, embarrassment, forgive, Forgiveness, healing, shame

The Decision to Leave or Stay in the Relationship

Can you accept the behaviors of those you love? If not, are you still in the relationship?

You have a choice to walk away from the behaviors you can’t accept in life, or stay and accept them. In the end, what you really want is closure. Knowing the direction you need to take is a much more powerful place than waiting for something to happen. Lingering is no fun.

Click on the play button above the video to listen to the entire episode or choose to read it below. By the time you’re done, you’ll know if you’ve reached full acceptance of the people in your life, and if you are choosing to suffer or not.

When it comes to accepting what is, or not accepting, one choice leads to suffering and the other does not. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anxiety, Behavior, Divorce, Judgment, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: divorce, judgment, Learning acceptance, love

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