The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Obsession and regret – when you just can’t stop thinking about what happened

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Obsession and regret – when you just can’t stop thinking about what happened
Obsession and regret – when you just can’t stop thinking about what happened
Episode play icon
Obsession and regret – when you just can’t stop thinking about what happened
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Why do obsessive thoughts take over our minds? What keeps them there? And why can’t we stop them after they start?

Obsessive thoughts are pervasive and invasive. If you’re struggling to let go of past events and find yourself caught in cycles of regret and anger, I want to help you get off the hamster wheel and back on steady ground again. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Obsession, Regret Tagged With: I can't stop thinking about my ex, I regret not doing something different, I'm obsessively thinking about them

The quirks that might make others judge us

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The quirks that might make others judge us
The quirks that might make others judge us
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The quirks that might make others judge us
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A self-described “germaphobe” shared with me their challenging experience at a work function. The presence of food triggered an embarrassing moment for them, which ultimately led to tears.

When you have behaviors and nuances that others might judge you for, do you hide them from the world? Should you?

Sometimes, we can’t hide who we are.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: childhood, Emotional Triggers, Obsession, Resources, Therapy Tagged With: How do I stop obsessing?, I am embarrassed about a work incident, I'm a germaphobe

Obsessing about people

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Obsession is a potent force, a relentless pursuit that can consume our thoughts, behaviors, and even our lives. It’s a desperate longing that often disregards the clear signs of failure.

I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been obsessed, and it’s not a place I would wish anyone to be.

When I was younger, I found myself in the throes of obsessive thinking more than once. My first girlfriend, my second girlfriend, my wife – all were subjects of my obsessive thoughts.

I would follow them, physically and mentally, recording their every move in my mind. I would look them up online, trying to piece together a bigger picture, hoping to find a crack in the door that I could slip through.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotional Healing, Obsession, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Therapy Tagged With: obsession in relationships, Obsessive thinking

The best kind of relationship is the one where you can be yourself

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The best kind of relationship is the one where you can be yourself
The best kind of relationship is the one where you can be yourself
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The best kind of relationship is the one where you can be yourself
July 4, 2021
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Romantic relationships can create some of the most complex emotional challenges in your life. From heartful to heartache, from elated to deflated, relationships bring us through a roller coaster of emotions until we are either fulfilled or completely drained.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes the right tools and the right mindset can create relationships that don’t have to be so difficult. In fact, they can be wonderful when you know how to deal with the challenges that show up.

Filed Under: Dating, Friendships, Intimacy, Jealousy, Marriage, Obsession, Relationships, Sex Tagged With: I am unhappy in my relationship, I can't be myself in my relationship, I feel oppressed in my relationship

When you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can’t get it

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When you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can’t get it
When you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can’t get it
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When you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can’t get it
April 19, 2020
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You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don’t tell you why they did it?

When you aren’t given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling. It’s the feeling you get when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can’t stop obsessing on why they did what they did. 

It’s a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you’re going to move on and enjoy life again. 

Filed Under: anxiety, Betrayal, Divorce, Finding peace, Obsession, Relationships Tagged With: I can't get closure, I can't get past the fact they left for no reason, They left and didn't tell me why

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