The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Taking the Opposite Advice – I Feel Unlovable and Unwanted

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Taking the opposite advice – I feel unlovable and unwanted
Taking the opposite advice – I feel unlovable and unwanted
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Taking the opposite advice – I feel unlovable and unwanted
June 12, 2016

Advice about anxiety, anger, sadness and other emotional issues on the internet seems to be the same where ever you look:
Think positively, breathe, count to 10, etc.

I’m generalizing, of course, but many times, it’ll seem like you’re reading the same article over and over again, as if the information is just being passed from blog to blog.

But, what would happen if you turned the advice around and did the opposite?

Funny thing is, that’s how I developed some of the tools I use and teach. I just take “normal” advice and do the opposite to see what happens. Surprisingly, this seems to work more often than not.

In another segment, I talk about a letter I got from a woman who “has it all together.” She found a great relationship, but then the guy left for seemingly no reason. Now she feels hurt, unlovable, and unwanted, and isn’t sure if her pain is from the past before the relationship started, or from the breakup itself.

This is a loaded episode. Hope it brings you value.

Filed Under: Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: I Feel Unlovable and Unwanted, Taking the Opposite Advice

Acting from Integrity – Balancing Personal Growth with Relationship Growth – Knowing When You Are Out of Love – Making the Right Choices

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Acting from Integrity – Balancing personal growth with relationship growth – Knowing when you are out of love – Making the right choices
Acting from Integrity – Balancing personal growth with relationship growth – Knowing when you are out of love – Making the right choices
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Acting from Integrity – Balancing personal growth with relationship growth – Knowing when you are out of love – Making the right choices
May 29, 2016

A listener calls me out and tells me, “You couldn’t take a couple of minutes to answer me personally?”

I read her message on the air and respond to it. I always do my best to act from a place of integrity but did I mess up this time? 

Also, I received an email from someone in a relationship that may not work out. She wants to know how to balance her own personal growth with the work she’s done in her relationship (and not ruin that work). And she also wants to know if she’s done everything she can do before leaving the relationship. ‘Have I turned the last “Falling out of love” stone before I completely give in to the truth?’

When do you really know when you’re out of love?

There’s also another segment on how an Adult Child of an Alcoholic can trust themselves after living a life without it. Self-trust is a process and there is a way to have it again.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Decisions, Human Potential, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Balancing Personal Growth with Relationship Growth, Knowing When You Are Out of Love, Learning how to act from Integrity, Making the Right Choices

The Kids Episode – For Kids And The Kid In You

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The Kids Episode – For Kids And The Kid In You
The Kids Episode – For Kids And The Kid In You
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The Kids Episode – For Kids And The Kid In You
May 22, 2016

Kids get overwhelmed brains too. After hearing from a few kids that listen to the show, I decided to dedicate an episode talking about the hardships that kids face.

From school and getting made fun of, to home and some of the dysfunctions that can be present there.

Kids have it tough because the whole world is new and they are having experiences on the fly. Whereas adults already have so much experience under their belt that they may have forgotten the plight of being a kid and what it takes to get through some of life’s more challenging situations.

Even as adults, we have a kid in us that wants to cry, play, laugh, get angry, and more, so we need to learn to nurture the kid in us to have a more balanced, happier life. 

Whether you’re a kid or not, and whether you have kids or not, there is something in this episode for everyone.

 

Filed Under: Behavior, Family, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: For The Kid In You, Kids Episode

Healing from New Age Thinking – The fears in honoring yourself – The stolen childhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics

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Healing from New Age Thinking – The fears in honoring yourself – The stolen childhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics
Healing from New Age Thinking – The fears in honoring yourself – The stolen childhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics
Episode play icon
Healing from New Age Thinking – The fears in honoring yourself – The stolen childhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics

In this episode, I talk about positive thinking and bridging the gap between emotions and reason.

In the next segment, when you fear honoring yourself, what can you do? It’s great advice to tell someone: “Just honor your boundaries then you can start creating the life you want!” Which of course is something I say all the time. But what if you are just too afraid to?

In the last segment, I read a letter from an adult child of an alcoholic who felt that his playfulness was stripped away because of the state of fear he lived in growing up in an alcoholic household. 

Filed Under: Ask Paul, childhood, Fears, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Spirituality Tagged With: I feel worse after new age thinking, I'm afraid to honor myself, My childhood was stolen from alcoholics

The Relationship You Have With Yourself – Wanting The Anxiety To Go Away – Enabling Abusive People

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The relationship you have with yourself – Wanting the anxiety to go away – Enabling abusive people
The relationship you have with yourself – Wanting the anxiety to go away – Enabling abusive people
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The relationship you have with yourself – Wanting the anxiety to go away – Enabling abusive people
May 8, 2016

When we talk to ourselves, we really are communicating with a deeper, subconscious part of us that has within it an understanding of what really motivates us in life.

Sometimes we don’t want to communicate with a part of ourselves that feels the pain, but if we don’t, that part feels neglected, lonely, hurt, and rejected, and more.

Also, is there a path out of generalized or health anxiety? Does it ever end? There are times when anxious thoughts can help you achieve your goals, then there is the anxiety that we don’t want.

Finally, I discuss abusive people that we continue to let return to our lives over and over again. Are they abusing us, or are we just abusing ourselves?

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, Ask Paul, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Enabling Abusive People, The Relationship You Have With Yourself, Wanting The Anxiety To Go Away

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