The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship

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Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship
Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship
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Email Grab Bag 4 – Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship
September 26, 2021
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I read three emails from people in three different circumstances. The first one is about a troubled marriage where the wife doesn’t know why she is staying and can’t figure out how to make the decision to leave.

Segment two is about dealing with the victim mentality and what questions you can ask a chronic complainer in order to get them to do something about what they’re complaining about.

Segment three is about a wife who discovered her husband watches porn and since then their once happy, amazing marriage is now in shambles with little hope for the future. Lots to talk about in this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction, Decisions, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships, Victim Mentality Tagged With: porn addiction, the victim mentality, troubled marriage

When bad things keep happening to you

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When bad things keep happening to you
When bad things keep happening to you
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When bad things keep happening to you
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Changing how you respond to and cope with challenges can improve your relationships and life overall.

When you’re getting the same bad results over and over again, it might be time for a new perspective to help you create better outcomes.

When times are tough, they can get tougher, get better, or stay pretty bad for a while.

These aren’t happy truths. They’re real truths. They are reality.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Depression, Emotional Healing, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Therapy Tagged With: Change your terrible outcomes, Getting better results, Taking control of your life

Disarming people who disempower you

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Disarming people that disempower you
Disarming people that disempower you
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Disarming people that disempower you
November 1, 2020
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When someone says something hurtful or offensive to you, what happens next? For most people, the answer is automatic: The words hit, emotions flare, and suddenly you’re defending yourself, attacking back, or completely losing your composure.

A reaction to hurtful words or behaviors can happen so fast that you don’t even realize you’ve fallen into a pattern; A pattern that the other person may actually be counting on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Keep your power with toxic people, talking to the toxic ex, Talking with toxic people

Obsessing about people

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Obsession is a potent force, a relentless pursuit that can consume our thoughts, behaviors, and even our lives. It’s a desperate longing that often disregards the clear signs of failure.

I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been obsessed, and it’s not a place I would wish anyone to be.

When I was younger, I found myself in the throes of obsessive thinking more than once. My first girlfriend, my second girlfriend, my wife – all were subjects of my obsessive thoughts.

I would follow them, physically and mentally, recording their every move in my mind. I would look them up online, trying to piece together a bigger picture, hoping to find a crack in the door that I could slip through.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotional Healing, Obsession, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Therapy Tagged With: obsession in relationships, Obsessive thinking

Are your feelings wrong?

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Are your feelings wrong?
Are your feelings wrong?
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Are your feelings wrong?
April 23, 2023
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In Any Relationship, You’re Either Contributing to It or Taking Away From It.

When you take away from it, you are pulling out the main ingredients of what makes a relationship healthy and enjoyable. When you are contributing to it, you are strengthening it you are giving it the life and vibrancy, it needs to stay healthy and last long.

One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that the more you show up as your true self with almost everyone in your life, life becomes a lot easier.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotional Healing, Emotional Triggers, Empathy, Identity, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Behavior, Vulnerability Tagged With: Invalidation in relationships

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