The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing What’s Right For You

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Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.

That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.

What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?

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Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated

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Should you receive something in return for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.

You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a people-pleaser.

Also, I receive a letter from someone who feels socially inept. He can’t make or keep friends, and he feels awkward on dates. Sometimes being yourself is the best solution, but who are you really being during those awkward silences?

Finally, I talk about a woman who is deeply in love with her husband and has a great sex life, yet still cheated anyway. She can’t figure out why so I explore why even a good marriage or relationship experiences infidelity.

My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People

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In this episode, I talk a little more about manipulative people and share with you what might make them that way in the first place.

Association and dissociation may play a role in their behavior. If you’re not familiar with those terms, you will be after this episode.

And, what if you do a bunch of healing and growth but you realize that your partner doesn’t want to change? In fact, what if they’re happy exactly the way they are, dysfunction and all? Accountability may be the only course of action.

In the last segment, I talk about someone who worked hard on their relationship for two years. Their partner finally grows into the person they wanted them to be, but are they still in love? Is it too late now? I get a letter that addresses that very question.

How about guilt for thinking about leaving your abusive spouse? Yes, people can actually develop guilty feelings for thinking about leaving someone that disrespects and even abuses them. That’s an important topic to discuss, so let’s dive into that too.

Click here for the six reasons you may feel guilty for leaving an emotionally abusive partner.

The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People

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Has dysfunction become the new normal for you? Are you in a relationship where your tolerance for bad behavior is so high that you don’t even recognize what’s bad for you anymore? That sounds like a topic for discussion if you ask me!

Also, I read a letter from someone who wants to know how to deal with defensive people. There is a path to working with those types, and becoming aggressive or offensive back is not typically the best way to handle their behavior. You may have to become a bit of a sleuth. I talk about that and more in today’s episode.

Strength in Vulnerability – What if Divorce is a Mistake? – Never Happy Without Someone Else in my Life

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Vulnerability is the final step toward your strength. Your emotional core contains all of your emotions, your shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment, and sadness, but also your joy, happiness, peace, and a lot of other good feelings too.

In childhood, we learn to close off that core and only let in and out so much because we’ve been emotionally wounded. Letting those defensive walls come down lets both the bad and the good out, but only the good sticks around when you do it right.

Also, I read a letter from a woman who doesn’t want anything to change except maybe her marriage, but that means a lot of other things have to change as well. So she’s not sure if getting a divorce is the right decision.

Finally, I read a second email from a 24-year-old who has chosen a career path that he is unhappy with. On top of that, his girlfriend left him and he is not happy unless someone else is in his life. Lots to talk about today. Thanks for listening!