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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Staying In The Rut with “Yeah, But…”

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I think about some of the friends I’ve had in my life and wonder what happened to my “Yeah, but…” friends.

They were goodhearted people that would do anything for me, but couldn’t shut off their excuse machine. No matter what I said to them, Yeah, But was their answer. And they couldn’t figure out why nothing ever worked out for them. 

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Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Communication, Negative Emotions Tagged With: I don't know how to succeed, I fail at everything, i'll try

How to Deal with Highly Defensive People

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defensive people

Highly defensive people are very sensitive to certain subjects causing them to go into a sort of fight or flight response. After all, why jump into a defensive posture unless you think there’s a threat? 

The threat is typically not realistic, but that’s only an outsider’s perspective because to the person with the defensive behavior, the threat could be very real to them. But what exactly are they threatened by?

I received a letter from a listener that was dealing with a defensive person at work. Her coworker would get very defensive whenever anyone would talk about “controversial subjects” around her. The letter writer didn’t tell me exactly which controversial subjects were being discussed, but I could only assume that they were the typical ones that most people have a very staunch opinion on. 

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Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Beliefs, Conflict, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries Tagged With: Always so argumentative, defensive people, My partner is always overreacting to everything, Why is he so defensive all the time?

Why Do People Keep Crossing Your Boundaries?

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how to honor my personal boundaries

When I used to travel for work, I visited quite a number of car rental booths. While renting a car on one of those trips, a man walked up behind me and got very close.

Then he stood right next to me and started asking questions to the agent (the same agent I was talking to).

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Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: Boundaries, draw the line, personal space

The Fish Who Taught Compassion

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Since I moved in with my girlfriend in 2015, I’ve been feeding our fish, Flash, every morning. She says I feed him too much which is why he is so much larger than when I first moved in. I say he got larger because we got a bigger tank.

This debate may go on for years!

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Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Compassion, Healthy Thinking, Human Potential, Thinking Tagged With: Compassion for all living things, do animals have emotions?, Fish have emotions too

The Snapping Point of Lasting Change

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The Snapping Point of Lasting Change and Finding Compassion When People are Petty
The Snapping Point of Lasting Change and Finding Compassion When People are Petty
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The Snapping Point of Lasting Change and Finding Compassion When People are Petty
January 9, 2016

We all have a snapping point and it can change our world when it happens.

I remember the first time I stood up for myself. I was 10. The bully up the street came over and we had just finished wrestling (as boys tend to do). I was done. He wasn’t.

I sat down, tired, and not interested in wrestling anymore. And he came up to me and said, “Come on, let’s wrestle some more.” I was like, “Nope, I’m done. I’m too tired, and don’t want to wrestle anymore.”

He further badgered me, “Come on, let’s wrestle again!”

“No. I don’t want to.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries Tagged With: anger, boiling point, snapping point

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