The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes

Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
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Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
April 23, 2017

What is it with pervasive thoughts about people you don’t particularly care about? You already don’t want to see them in person, so how do you keep them from appearing in your mind?

In segment one of today’s show, I read a letter from a woman who can’t get her husband’s ex-wife out of her mind. How do you get rid of consistent, unwelcome thoughts like this?

How can you finally rid yourself of that one persistent thought in your mind’s eye? I have a few suggestions.   [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Don't Want You in My Mind, Most Important Relationship Lessons, Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me, Standing in Other's Shoes

The Ego-Crushing Path to Enlightenment

I’d like to share an embarrassing story with you. In my early thirties, I thought I was one of the best harmonica players in the world. I really did! After all, I was imitating some of the best players so obviously, I was just as talented.

Then I decided that I wanted to BE the best, so I bought some CDs and started imitating more players. However, after listening to more artists with some amazing gifts, I was suddenly struck with a realization that not only was I not in the top tier of best players in the world, but I wasn’t even on the bottom rung of a very tall ladder of talent and skill.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Ego, Human Potential, Humiliation, Thinking, Vulnerability Tagged With: Getting the ego crushed, Path to enlightenment

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
February 19, 2017

When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do?

You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a hundred years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.

In this segment, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with having obsessive thoughts, why are they a problem, and if there’s anything you can do about what you’re obsessing over. I’ll also talk about your resistance to them and how it causes you to suffer. If you have been suffering from that negative internal dialogue, listen to this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts, Is Everyone Toxic, She Cheated He Took Her Back

Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life

Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
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Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
February 12, 2017

When is a bad thing a good thing? When is a good thing bad? How attached are you to outcomes? I share a quick Zen Buddhist parable that might make you think twice about the stressors in the world today, especially with the heated political climate and growing fears of what might happen next.

Not everything is as it appears.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Beliefs, Depression, Divorce, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People, Values Tagged With: Advice For Life, Bad Luck or Great Fortune, Small Lies and Big Problems, When You're Stuck With No Way Out

The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself

The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
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The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
December 18, 2016

The emotional healing journey consists of many ups and downs. A listener asks me how I managed to get through my journey and what I can share with others on what to expect. Whether you’re starting your healing journey from scratch or still on a hot path of learning, healing, and growing, there’s always more to learn. I talk about what it takes to honor your boundaries in a healthy way (instead of waiting until you blow up) and recognizing patterns in yourself that may point back to emotional wounds from the past.

What are your results over and over again? Are you succeeding in life or failing miserably?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Control, Decisions, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Vulnerability Tagged With: Focus on Yourself, The Emotional Healing Journey, To Express or Not To Express

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