The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

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Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

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My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People

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My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
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My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
August 14, 2016

In this episode, I talk a little more about manipulative people and share with you what might make them that way in the first place.

Association and dissociation may play a role in their behavior. If you’re not familiar with those terms, you will be after this episode.

And, what if you do a bunch of healing and growth but you realize that your partner doesn’t want to change? In fact, what if they’re happy exactly the way they are, dysfunction and all? Accountability may be the only course of action.

In the last segment, I talk about someone who worked hard on their relationship for two years. Their partner finally grows into the person they wanted them to be, but are they still in love? Is it too late now? I get a letter that addresses that very question.

How about guilt for thinking about leaving your abusive spouse? Yes, people can actually develop guilty feelings for thinking about leaving someone that disrespects and even abuses them. That’s an important topic to discuss, so let’s dive into that too.

Click here for the six reasons you may feel guilty for leaving an emotionally abusive partner.

How to Deal with Highly Defensive People

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defensive people

Highly defensive people are very sensitive to certain subjects causing them to go into a sort of fight or flight response. After all, why jump into a defensive posture unless you think there’s a threat? 

The threat is typically not realistic, but that’s only an outsider’s perspective because to the person with the defensive behavior, the threat could be very real to them. But what exactly are they threatened by?

I received a letter from a listener that was dealing with a defensive person at work. Her coworker would get very defensive whenever anyone would talk about “controversial subjects” around her. The letter writer didn’t tell me exactly which controversial subjects were being discussed, but I could only assume that they were the typical ones that most people have a very staunch opinion on. 

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The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People

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The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
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The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
August 7, 2016

Has dysfunction become the new normal for you? Are you in a relationship where your tolerance for bad behavior is so high that you don’t even recognize what’s bad for you anymore? That sounds like a topic for discussion if you ask me!

Also, I read a letter from someone who wants to know how to deal with defensive people. There is a path to working with those types, and becoming aggressive or offensive back is not typically the best way to handle their behavior. You may have to become a bit of a sleuth. I talk about that and more in today’s episode.

Life’s Too Short to Be Anyone But Yourself

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Why would anyone want to be disconnected from their emotions?

Because they believe they won’t experience pain. Of course, that also means they won’t experience pleasure (for the most part) either. The resistance of some emotions typically means the prevention of both the good and bad. But then what? What kind of life are you living where you feel very little at all?

When I was in my first long-term relationship, during the last couple of years I found out it was a lot easier to be analytical and calculating than it was to show my anger or fear. That’s because my girlfriend was falling out of love with me and I had thoughts and feelings about her that I chose not to share. If I shared them, I believed she might get mad and leave me. But in reality, she was on the way out anyway.

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