The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex

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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
October 30, 2016

What you say isn’t always what they hear. What they understand isn’t always what you conveyed. Who is responsible for the communication, you? Them? Both? Neither? It’s time to explore this topic.

In Ask Paul part 1, I read a message from someone who got out of a manipulative, abusive relationship with a malignant narcissist. It was a crazy time for her, and she is healing, but she shares a lesson for us all.

In Ask Paul part 2, I read a letter from someone still obsessing over his ex. They were together a short time but he’s still grieving over the death of their relationship. What can you do when you’re in that state?

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Guilt, Human Potential, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Do You Obsess Over Your Ex?, The Manipulator Makes You Feel Guilty, The Meaning of Communication

The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You

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The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
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The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
October 23, 2016

With General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), is there a chance of getting free of the consistent feelings of anxiety and panic? Is there a remote chance of feeling better or even making it go away completely? Maybe…

Also, I get a letter from a girl whose boyfriend gets jealous so she gets angry, which causes him to insult her, which causes her to react, and so on. I talk about a possible resolution. I’ll cover jealousy and anger and the fact that we often direct that anger at the wrong people.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Anxiety and Panic, Directing Anger at Loved Ones

Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior

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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
October 16, 2016

Can you laugh at criticism? Do you believe in yourself enough so that when someone calls you anything less than you really are, you can shrug it off without those sometimes hard-to-avoid feelings?

When you get to a place inside where you are proud of yourself no matter what, then you’ll find yourself genuinely laughing instead of reacting when someone is being critical of you.

Children can seem to do awful things, but they are a result of the programming adults have fed into them since birth. Is it really their fault they are acting in the way they were nurtured and influenced?

Finally, is it possible to change manipulative, toxic behavior, and repair the damage to your relationships because of it? Both can be achieved but they require serious introspection. Heal yourself and both situations can improve and evolve.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior, Laughing at Criticism, There Are No Terrible Children

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Dealing with Emotional Withdrawal, How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I'm getting the silent treatment from my girlfriend, The Silent Treatment, What is the silent treatment?

Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship

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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
October 9, 2016

Self-esteem stems from the level of self-worth you have about yourself. How do you raise either or both so that you can walk through life confidently and assert yourself when needed?

There’s “street knowledge” then there’s book (academic) knowledge. Street Knowledge is having real-world experience. Book knowledge is when you know what to do but don’t necessarily know how to do it, or have the courage to do it.

In the Ask Paul segment, I read a letter from a jealous husband who doesn’t like it when other people look at his wife. He can’t figure out how to get past these feelings.

Insecurities abound in this segment so it’s a great segue from the last one. There’s a little bit of ego involved, a leap of faith, and a lot of trust that may need to be built up in order to allow the jealousy to go away.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: I don't feel loved or important, Jealous and Insecure In Your Relationship?, Measuring Your Self-Worth and Self-Esteem

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