The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing What’s Right For You

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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
September 4, 2016

Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.

That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.

What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?

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Staying In The Rut with “Yeah, But…”

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I think about some of the friends I’ve had in my life and wonder what happened to my “Yeah, but…” friends.

They were goodhearted people that would do anything for me, but couldn’t shut off their excuse machine. No matter what I said to them, Yeah, But was their answer. And they couldn’t figure out why nothing ever worked out for them. 

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What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

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Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

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Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated

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Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
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Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
August 21, 2016

Should you receive something in return for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.

You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a people-pleaser.

Also, I receive a letter from someone who feels socially inept. He can’t make or keep friends, and he feels awkward on dates. Sometimes being yourself is the best solution, but who are you really being during those awkward silences?

Finally, I talk about a woman who is deeply in love with her husband and has a great sex life, yet still cheated anyway. She can’t figure out why so I explore why even a good marriage or relationship experiences infidelity.

My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People

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My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
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My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
August 14, 2016

In this episode, I talk a little more about manipulative people and share with you what might make them that way in the first place.

Association and dissociation may play a role in their behavior. If you’re not familiar with those terms, you will be after this episode.

And, what if you do a bunch of healing and growth but you realize that your partner doesn’t want to change? In fact, what if they’re happy exactly the way they are, dysfunction and all? Accountability may be the only course of action.

In the last segment, I talk about someone who worked hard on their relationship for two years. Their partner finally grows into the person they wanted them to be, but are they still in love? Is it too late now? I get a letter that addresses that very question.

How about guilt for thinking about leaving your abusive spouse? Yes, people can actually develop guilty feelings for thinking about leaving someone that disrespects and even abuses them. That’s an important topic to discuss, so let’s dive into that too.

Click here for the six reasons you may feel guilty for leaving an emotionally abusive partner.