The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Focus on Yourself in Relationship Problems

Leave a Comment

I often work with clients who’ve been to couple’s therapy but are still stuck where they are in the relationship. In fact, most of the time one partner is “fine” while the other is not. I’ve often found that the one who is not fine is also the one who is trying harder to save the relationship.

Sometimes I am puzzled when I see that the “fine” partner doesn’t see anything wrong, and points the finger at the other person.

“She’s the one with the problem!” or
“He’s the one that gets upset!“

If comments like that have ever come out of your partner’s mouth during a therapy session, then you are most likely in a troubling situation.

[Read more…]

The 10 Components of a Satisfying, Loving Relationship – Part 1

1 Comment

focus on others whats right for you tony robbins

There are probably hundreds of components that make up a great relationship, but I’m going to address some of the ones that make the biggest difference.

Whether a friendship, family, or intimate partner, when you adopt and include these components in your relationships, they will improve. But, just like I mention in the show, things go a lot better when the other people in your relationships also include them too.

When it’s one sided, it doesn’t go too far. But when it works, it can be completely satisfying and enjoyable. [Read more…]

What’s Missing In My Life?

10 Comments

whats missing in my life sad unhappy unsatisfied

If you don’t know what’s missing in your life, then you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question.

Perhaps you should ask “What’s present in my life that’s preventing me from getting what’s missing in my life?”

It may sound like an odd way to ask the question but the way you phrase questions to yourself will dictate how you think about everything. And if you change the way you think, you can change your results.

When you don’t know what’s missing, you don’t know what to focus on to obtain what’s missing. So maybe it’s time to change the questions you ask yourself.

“What’s missing in my life?”

No… How about: “What is in my life right now that, if it were missing, would help me get what I need to feel happy?”

How your phrase your language changes how you think about a problem.

The above question sounds weird on purpose. And in order to understand it, you need to reach inside yourself a little deeper than you normally would. This will help you access your innermost resources that will help you come up with a solution.

[Read more…]