The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Utilize anger in a healthy way by honoring your boundaries

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Learning your boundaries – Utilizing anger in a healthy way – Accepting the limitations of others
Learning your boundaries – Utilizing anger in a healthy way – Accepting the limitations of others
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Learning your boundaries – Utilizing anger in a healthy way – Accepting the limitations of others
June 5, 2016

Anger can rise up in you because of a violation of your personal boundaries, but do you even know what your boundaries are?

I like to think of boundaries as your castle walls. And within those walls lies your emotional core where you are most vulnerable yet most powerful at the same time.

Sometimes we feel anger and we aren’t even sure why. This episode will help you learn what your boundaries are so that you know at what point you can be pushed before you “lose it”.

Also, I read an email from someone who got so angry that he forgot what he said while he was in that state. You do have a choice to either utilize anger for your protection or to attack someone else.

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What’s Missing In My Life?

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whats missing in my life sad unhappy unsatisfied

If you don’t know what’s missing in your life, then you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question.

Perhaps you should ask “What’s present in my life that’s preventing me from getting what’s missing in my life?”

It may sound like an odd way to ask the question but the way you phrase questions to yourself will dictate how you think about everything. And if you change the way you think, you can change your results.

When you don’t know what’s missing, you don’t know what to focus on to obtain what’s missing. So maybe it’s time to change the questions you ask yourself.

“What’s missing in my life?”

No… How about: “What is in my life right now that, if it were missing, would help me get what I need to feel happy?”

How your phrase your language changes how you think about a problem.

The above question sounds weird on purpose. And in order to understand it, you need to reach inside yourself a little deeper than you normally would. This will help you access your innermost resources that will help you come up with a solution.

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Personal Boundaries: Protect and Honor Who You Are at Your Core

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Boundaries are the rules we set up that dictate the people and experiences we allow into our lives. These rules also drive our decisions and behaviors, so that we can achieve a certain level of comfort and stability.

In other words, if you feel comfortable with someone, you share and give more of yourself. You can allow yourself to be more authentic, and feel vulnerable yet safe. These are the people you allow into what I like to call your “castle walls.”

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, and they’re asking or pressuring you into doing things you don’t want to do, these are the people you keep out beyond the moat that surrounds your castle. You don’t let them cross the drawbridge, because if you do you’ll certainly compromise the integrity of your castle.

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