Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
So you did something you regret, and now you walk around feeling guilty all the time.
Guilt isn’t something you keep. It’s supposed to be a message that disappears after you’ve learned the lesson. If you carry guilt long after the event, it may be time to release it.
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Some people do not want to forgive and forget. If you’ve ever wronged someone, felt guilty about it, and apologized, but they weren’t able to let it go, will there ever be a chance to make up with them and move on?
When someone is stuck in the past of what you did to them or what they perceived you did to them, they may believe making up is impossible, and you will be the “bad guy” forever.
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Some loved ones really want to help you through your challenges. There are those that listen and support you and meet you where you are. Then there are those that have good intentions but fail miserably. It’s not that they’re incompetent, but it could be that they simply have no clue what they’re talking about.
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Your sexual history is yours, but some people like to make it a big deal and cause you to feel guilt or shame for things you did in your past.
Whether you regret what you did in the past or not shouldn’t make a difference. It’s your past and no one else’s. Those who have an issue with what you did in the past need to resolve that within themselves, not take their insecurities out on you.
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Sometimes showing up authentically around certain people feels confrontational. One reason for that may be that you’ve never honored yourself in front of them before, so they may not have ever been exposed to you practicing self-respect or self-compassion.
If you’re ready to start being more authentic and letting other people know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you may have to ease them into the new you instead of dropping it on them like a brick. Some people need time to adapt.
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