The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Carrying around the burden of someone else’s secret

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Carrying around the burden of someone else’s secret
Carrying around the burden of someone else’s secret
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Carrying around the burden of someone else’s secret
May 8, 2022

What do you do when someone you care about tells you a secret that affects other people you care about? Do you follow your heart or your values? Does your moral compass activate and make you express the secret to those who should know?

A dilemma like this seems like it has no real good answer. But I’ll share what I went through and how I handled it.

Filed Under: anxiety, Conflict, Family, Friendships, Insecurity, Lying, Relationships Tagged With: Burden to carry a secret, Holding on to a secret

Am I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secret

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Am I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secret
Am I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secret
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Am I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secret
February 23, 2020

Are you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow-up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone’s bad behavior.

In segment two, I get serious and talk about child sexual abuse and what might happen when the family secret is found out.

Filed Under: Family, Insecurity, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: holding on to secrets, sensitive or toxic

People can change but what about when they don’t or won’t?

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People can change but what about when they don’t or wont?
People can change but what about when they don’t or wont?
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People can change but what about when they don’t or wont?
October 31, 2021

Sometimes we’re stuck with someone that doesn’t have our best interest in mind. Not only that, they may even have a not-so-pleasant plan to make us miserable.


What do you do with the toxic person that doesn’t want to, or can’t change? Is there hope when you’re in what seems like a no-win situation?

I try to answer that question in today’s episode.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com.

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, I created the podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

Filed Under: Communication, Dysfunction, Family, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: my partner won't change, Toxic people don't change, will my family ever change?

When you have to make a big decision about the relationship

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When you have to make a big decision about the relationship
When you have to make a big decision about the relationship
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When you have to make a big decision about the relationship
May 27, 2020

Sometimes when you’re in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it’s going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen.

In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there’s a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships

Filed Under: Decisions, Divorce, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: How do I decide to get a divorce?, How do I make the decision to stay in the relationship or leave?, Should I stay in my marriage or leave?

When the fear of abandonment keeps you from happiness

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When the fear of abandonment keeps you from happiness
When the fear of abandonment keeps you from happiness
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When the fear of abandonment keeps you from happiness
February 16, 2020

When you’re needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life.

Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear, you might actually start enjoying life again.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, anxiety, Divorce, Fears, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: How do I stop being afraid of rejection?, I'm afraid to be alone, What do I do about my fear of abandonment?

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