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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you

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Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
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Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
July 16, 2020

The first segment is about a young woman who keeps getting “ghosted” by her dates. It’s starting to impact her self-esteem and she’s wondering if she’ll ever find a life partner.

In the second segment, I reply to someone who wants to hate those who’ve wronged her, but her spirituality says it’s better to forgive.

Is it?

Sounds like a great subject to talk about. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Dating, Family, Forgiveness, Hate, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Is it bad to hate?, Is it necessary to forgive?, When your dates keep ghosting you, When your dates never call you back

When others make you feel small

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When others make you feel small
When others make you feel small
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When others make you feel small
October 20, 2019

Is it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can’t but you can?

If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it’s time to learn what to do when it goes too far.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Insecurity, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: I always feel afraid during arguments, I feel like I can't defend myself, They make me feel small when we argue

When tiny compromises lead to resentments

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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
When tiny compromises lead to resentments
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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
March 3, 2019

Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more?

There are two ways to compromise:

One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t.

I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Connection, Dysfunction, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Intimacy, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: building resentment in your relationship, Compromising for others, When tiny compromises lead to resentments

Jealousy in the relationship

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Jealousy in the relationship
Jealousy in the relationship
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Jealousy in the relationship
September 15, 2019

Several major components need to exist in a relationship in order for jealousy to take control. When there’s jealousy between you and your partner, there is almost always a decrease in love and connection, and an increase in unhappiness and anxiety.

It’s time to put jealousy to rest once and for all.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: How do I stop being so jealous?, I am so jealous of my partner, They're so jealous about everyone I talk to

Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?

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Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
Episode play icon
Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
April 21, 2019

What do you do when you’re partner does something you don’t like? Do you stay focused on their behavior and try to make them change it? Or do you shift your focus on what you can control and do what you can for yourself so that your partner can no longer use the excuse that you’re giving them a hard time?

Jealousy, self-worth, and self-esteem make an appearance in this episode. Sometimes the people we love do things we hate.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Control, Emotional Abuse, Jealousy, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: I just want them to change, Why won't they change?, Why won't they stop doing what I hate?

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