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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you

Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
Episode play icon
Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged you
July 16, 2020

The first segment is about a young woman who keeps getting “ghosted” by her dates. It’s starting to impact her self-esteem and she’s wondering if she’ll ever find a life partner.

In the second segment, I reply to someone who wants to hate those who’ve wronged her, but her spirituality says it’s better to forgive.

Is it?

Sounds like a great subject to talk about. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Dating, Family, Forgiveness, Hate, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Is it bad to hate?, Is it necessary to forgive?, When your dates keep ghosting you, When your dates never call you back

Why you’re not getting a second chance

Why you're not getting a second chance
Why you're not getting a second chance
Episode play icon
Why you're not getting a second chance
May 17, 2020

When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what’s the best way to show up?

Do you try to impress and show others how much you’ve changed? Or does that actually work against you?

Filed Under: Behavior, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I get a second chance?, I hope I get a second chance, Will I get a second chance?

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Control, enabling, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Dealing with the victim mentality, How to deal with the chronic complainer, Some people are so dramatic

My Healing Journey from Being an Emotional Abuser

Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It often hides in the form of feigned helpfulness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing their victim to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers. But as this behavior is repeated time and time again, the insidious compound effect of this form of hidden abuse causes its victims to lose confidence in themselves, stop trusting in their own decisions, feel devalued and unimportant, and blame themselves for being the cause of, and sometimes even deserving, of the abusive behavior.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Blog article, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Withdrawal, Empathy, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Am I emotionally abusive?, Can the emotional abuser change?, how do I stop being emotionally abusive?, How to stop being emotionally abusive, What is emotional abuse?

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this is article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser myself, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become very proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills reading this article.

Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Codependency, Depression, Dysfunction, enabling, Family, Insecurity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I stop people pleasing?, Is people pleasing bad?, What is people pleasing?

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