How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?
Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.In segment two I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.
I also tell you what happens when you choose not to express yourself and instead repress what’s going on in you instead. I’ll give you a hint, it’s a quick path to depression.
In segment three I offer the question of what your responsibility in the relationship is. Even when you’re the victim of any type of abuse, as awful as that is, you are still a component in the equation of that environment and therefore have some level of responsibility.
It may seem like you have no choice but often the choices you do have you simply won’t consider because you fear the consequences of making that choice.
The victim in an abusive or painful relationship still plays a role, so when he or she takes responsibility there’s a better chance of both of you healing. It’s not an “It’s all your fault” system, it can become an “I’ll take responsibility and you’ll take responsibility then we can work on this together” functional machine.
That’s a nice fantasy and sometimes it happens but when it goes well, it can actually help a relationship. Of course, if there is abuse it may be time to just get out while there’s a chance.
During the closing of the show, I read a message from someone asking me if it’s too soon to contact his ex. It’s been a couple of weeks and he just wants to call and apologize and tell her he misses their friendship. There’s a way to gauge whether it’s too soon or not and it has to do with your level of attachment to the reuniting. The stronger that attachment is, the likelihood that it’s too soon to contact.
I go over it in lots of detail in today’s episode.