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Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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A Near Miss Still Leaves a Mark: The Danger of the Abusive Relationship

November 15, 2017 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire recently. The trip was both relaxing and enlightening. The relaxation came in the form of sitting with people I knew well enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation. The enlightening aspect was learning about their past and just how much each of them have been through.  [Read more…]

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Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: abuse, alcoholic, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, near miss

Are You Being Abused By A Narcissist?

November 11, 2017 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

A long time ago I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.

Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves most people could ignore them and go on with life. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: abuse, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Guilt, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: crazy making, Emotional Abuse, emotional manipulation, love bombing, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, verbal abuse

The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

November 5, 2017 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.

Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Children, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcasts, Relationships Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Step-parents and step-children, The abuse victim's perspective, verbal abuse, When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

See me, Judge me – The Distant Partner with the Needy Partner – Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?

August 20, 2017 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • See me, Judge me – The Distant Partner with the Needy Partner – Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?

Four topics in this episode: A listener calls me smug and superior, a woman with emotional needs is seeing a man with intimacy issues, a listener can’t stop oversharing her life with complete strangers and I talk about what it means to go full no contact from your ex.  [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Judge me, Stop Oversharing, The Distant Partner with the Needy Partner, verbal abuse, What is No Contact?

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

June 18, 2017 By Paul Colaianni Leave a Comment

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  • Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and / or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: abuse, childhood, Children, Control, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcasts, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Contact or no contact your ex, Emotional Abuse, Even the victim plays a role, Rekindling with toxic family, The long-term results of honoring yourself, verbal abuse

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