I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire recently. The trip was both relaxing and enlightening. The relaxation came in the form of sitting with people I knew well enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation. The enlightening aspect was learning about their past and just how much each of them have been through.[Read more…]
A long time ago I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.
Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves most people could ignore them and go on with life.[Read more…]
Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.
Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others.[Read more…]
Four topics in this episode: A listener calls me smug and superior, a woman with emotional needs is seeing a man with intimacy issues, a listener can’t stop oversharing her life with complete strangers and I talk about what it means to go full no contact from your ex.[Read more…]
How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?
Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.In segment two I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.[Read more…]
Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trauma, abuse, and/or dysfunction.
Dis-integration can happen after a lifetime of challenges that you haven’t yet healed from, causing you to feel scattered and feel like you have no purpose.
When you don’t have a strong emotional foundation, the hard times are harder and you feel beat up and burnt out almost all the time so it’s important to establish who you are.[Read more…]