Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
When someone says something hurtful or offensive to you, what happens next? For most people, the answer is automatic: The words hit, emotions flare, and suddenly you’re defending yourself, attacking back, or completely losing your composure.
A reaction to hurtful words or behaviors can happen so fast that you don’t even realize you’ve fallen into a pattern; A pattern that the other person may actually be counting on.
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You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don’t tell you why they did it?
When you aren’t given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling. It’s the feeling you get when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can’t stop obsessing on why they did what they did.
It’s a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you’re going to move on and enjoy life again.
Some loved ones really want to help you through your challenges. There are those that listen and support you and meet you where you are. Then there are those that have good intentions but fail miserably. It’s not that they’re incompetent, but it could be that they simply have no clue what they’re talking about.
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Your sexual history is yours, but some people like to make it a big deal and cause you to feel guilt or shame for things you did in your past.
Whether you regret what you did in the past or not shouldn’t make a difference. It’s your past and no one else’s. Those who have an issue with what you did in the past need to resolve that within themselves, not take their insecurities out on you.
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Sometimes showing up authentically around certain people feels confrontational. One reason for that may be that you’ve never honored yourself in front of them before, so they may not have ever been exposed to you practicing self-respect or self-compassion.
If you’re ready to start being more authentic and letting other people know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you may have to ease them into the new you instead of dropping it on them like a brick. Some people need time to adapt.
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