Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
Most of the messages I get have to do with intimate relationships. That makes sense because many people get into these kinds of relationships.
We want that connection, bonding, and intimacy with another person. It’s in our wiring. The catch is that once we find the person to share our life with, they almost always come with a mirror that reflects what we need to heal in ourselves.
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I received an email from a woman I’ll call “Jenny.” Jenny is in quite an unempowering situation, being married to a man who simply doesn’t care about her. He makes decisions without her, dismisses her, disrespects her, basically does anything he wants, and also expects her to do what he wants.
Jenny is in an unhappy marriage.
She reached out to me to thank me for helping her and many others. I was grateful to get her message.
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We all have a snapping point and it can change our world when it happens.
I remember the first time I stood up for myself. I was 10. The bully up the street came over and we had just finished wrestling (as boys tend to do). I was done. He wasn’t.
I sat down, tired, and not interested in wrestling anymore. And he came up to me and said, “Come on, let’s wrestle some more.” I was like, “Nope, I’m done. I’m too tired, and don’t want to wrestle anymore.”
He further badgered me, “Come on, let’s wrestle again!”
“No. I don’t want to.”
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Brene Brown said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
I remember making a business deal with a friend of mine. We went into it together knowing that we’d each have to play a part in developing, running, and sustaining the business. The business idea sounded very lucrative, and we were both excited to start going with it.
However, about a month into it, I got reservations. I almost felt sick every time we talked about it, to the point where I hoped it wouldn’t be brought up. But, this was a business arrangement that I agreed to – how could it possibly not be brought up?
[Read more…]Segment one: Stepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you “chunk up” into a broader perspective instead of staying “chunked down” and embroiled in the details, you’re able to step out of all the negative emotional energy about the situation.
Segment two: A listener who just graduated college wrote and asked about honoring his personal boundaries with his parents and how to get along with a particular family member who doesn’t seem to like him.
Segment Three: I talk about what it really means to “create the life you want.” If you’ve had trouble doing that up to now, this is the segment for you.