I often work with clients who’ve been to couple’s therapy but are still stuck where they are in the relationship. In fact, most of the time one partner is “fine” while the other is not. I’ve often found that the one who is not fine is also the one who is trying harder to save the relationship.

Sometimes I am puzzled when I see that the “fine” partner doesn’t see anything wrong, and points the finger at the other person.

“She’s the one with the problem!” or
“He’s the one that gets upset!“

If comments like that have ever come out of your partner’s mouth during a therapy session, then you are most likely in a troubling situation.