The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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The Partner Who Is Everywhere But Home – Not Honoring Yourself In The Relationship – The Present Moment

The partner who'd rather be anywhere but home – Honoring myself everywhere but home – The present moment
The partner who'd rather be anywhere but home – Honoring myself everywhere but home – The present moment
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The partner who'd rather be anywhere but home – Honoring myself everywhere but home – The present moment
December 11, 2016

What do you do when your partner wants to spend more time away from home than with you? Is that a sign that there’s something wrong in the relationship? Is there a more serious issue, perhaps they don’t feel safe with you?

In the first segment, I read a letter from a man who missed his fiance’. She would go out drinking with friends and family and he would be home alone trying not to be offended or hurt. As she spent less time at home, he got more concerned but also gave her the space she asked for. Soon, the wedding was called off and she was moving out.

What went wrong? What could he have done differently?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Family, Infidelity, Loneliness, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Presence, Relationships Tagged With: Not Honoring Yourself In The Relationship, The Partner Who Is Everywhere But Home, The Present Moment

Getting Better at Receiving – Recovering from Abusive Love – Living with the Affair

Getting better at receiving – Recovering from abusive love – Living with the affair
Getting better at receiving – Recovering from abusive love – Living with the affair
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Getting better at receiving – Recovering from abusive love – Living with the affair
November 20, 2016

Giving can feel so good but receiving can too, so why do so many people have trouble receiving?

Do you reject gifts or other offers? If so, why would you take the honor to give away from the giver? If you’ve not thought about it like that before, segment one is for you.

In segment two, I read a letter from a woman who feels like she’s wasted three years of her life with her emotionally abusive boyfriend. [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Divorce, Human Potential, Infidelity, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Getting Better at Receiving, Living with the Affair, Recovering from Abusive Love

What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Betrayal, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: cheaters, cheating, How can I get over the pain of the affair?, I think my spouse is cheating, Infidelity

Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated

Building emotional deficit – Can't find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
Building emotional deficit – Can't find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
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Building emotional deficit – Can't find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
August 21, 2016

Should you receive something in return for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.

You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a people-pleaser.

Also, I receive a letter from someone who feels socially inept. He can’t make or keep friends, and he feels awkward on dates. Sometimes being yourself is the best solution, but who are you really being during those awkward silences?

Finally, I talk about a woman who is deeply in love with her husband and has a great sex life, yet still cheated anyway. She can’t figure out why so I explore why even a good marriage or relationship experiences infidelity.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Human Potential, Infidelity, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Building emotional deficit, Can't find or keep friends, In Love But Still Cheated

The Process of Self-Sabotage – You Don’t Have to Forgive Everyone – Anxiety All The Time

The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don't have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don't have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don't have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
May 1, 2016

Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going backward.

Sometimes you are not in alignment with a bigger vision for yourself. The reason is that you might actually have a value hidden under the surface that you didn’t even know was there. I talk about this self-sabotaging behavior in segment one of this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values, Worry Tagged With: Anxiety All The Time, The Process of Self-Sabotage, You Don't Have to Forgive Everyone

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