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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Episode play icon
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
February 19, 2017

When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do?

You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a hundred years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.

In this segment, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with having obsessive thoughts, why are they a problem, and if there’s anything you can do about what you’re obsessing over. I’ll also talk about your resistance to them and how it causes you to suffer. If you have been suffering from that negative internal dialogue, listen to this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts, Is Everyone Toxic, She Cheated He Took Her Back

Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life

When is a bad thing a good thing? When is a good thing bad? How attached are you to outcomes? I share a quick Zen Buddhist parable that might make you think twice about the stressors in the world today, especially with the heated political climate and growing fears of what might happen next.

Not everything is as it appears.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Beliefs, Depression, Divorce, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People, Values Tagged With: Advice For Life, Bad Luck or Great Fortune, Small Lies and Big Problems, When You're Stuck With No Way Out

When Love Isn’t Enough – Will Marriage Fix Dysfunction? – Untying Selfishness From Personal Boundaries – Tolerating Abuse

Is love enough? Will it overcome anything that happens in your life?

Financial struggles, family problems, arguments, abuse, and more… will your faith in love be enough to get you through the tough times? I read a letter from a young man who wonders if love is enough to get through anything. To add a bit of challenge on top of that, what if that love is only one-sided? 
Love is supporting the other person’s path and wanting them to be happy. When you start with that, it can blossom outward from there. If you start with anything less, you may not have room for anything more.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Control, Decisions, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Infidelity, Manipulation, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Values Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Tolerating Abuse, Untying Selfishness From Personal Boundaries, verbal abuse, When Love Isn't Enough, Will Marriage Fix Dysfunction?

The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships

Friendships are created and can last a lifetime, but they can also disintegrate, never to be rekindled.

What makes a friendship? How do you know if your friends are truly the ones that will be there with you and for you through all the good and bad times? In this first segment, I tackle these questions head on.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: The Formula for Friendship, The Yellow Flags of Betrayal, Trusting Relationships

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