The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When it’s always your fault

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When it’s always your fault
When it’s always your fault
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When it’s always your fault

If you find yourself constantly being blamed for everything going wrong, it’s time to question whether you’re being manipulated into believing what may be a deflection. In this episode, I tackle the sometimes tricky dynamics of responsibility and blame.

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Filed Under: Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Lying, Manipulation, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Worth Tagged With: I can’t stop feeling guilty even when I haven’t done anything wrong, I feel like everything is my fault in this relationship, I try to fix things but nothing ever changes, My partner blames me for everything and I don’t know why

When you’re “on” too much for others but not enough for yourself

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When you’re “on” too much for others but not enough for yourself
When you’re “on” too much for others but not enough for yourself
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When you’re “on” too much for others but not enough for yourself

When you’re always “on,” it means you put on your game face in every interaction with others. It’s like being in customer service and having to smile at every single customer that walks in the door.

Do this all day and you’ll probably want to crawl inside your shell when you get home. In this episode, I talk about what this is like from celebrities to baristas to anyone that feels like they need to be “on” all the time.

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Filed Under: Insecurity, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Resentment Tagged With: I don’t feel worthy of love because of my mom’s behavior, I want to change but I don’t know how, My partner says everything is fine but it’s not, My relationship doesn’t feel loving

Putting an end to your own passive aggressive behavior

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Putting an end to your own passive aggressive behavior
Putting an end to your own passive aggressive behavior
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Putting an end to your own passive aggressive behavior

A listener shared with me that someone called her passive-aggressive. She had no clue that that’s what she was doing, but she asked me how to identify it in herself and how and why it comes about. I address this very important subject in this article.

The article below is an addendum to today’s episode. Also, in this episode, I bring up a very difficult situation where someone has a husband who is not only disabled, which can be challenging enough, but also abusive. The wife is stuck and doesn’t know what to do.

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Filed Under: anger, Dysfunction, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode Tagged With: Afraid to speak up, how to stop being passive-aggressive, say what you mean

When friends and family think you’re making a bad decision

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When friends and family think you’re making a bad decision
When friends and family think you’re making a bad decision
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When friends and family think you’re making a bad decision

Your friends and family really want the best for you. But what are they going to say when they see you make a decision they believe is just crazy?

A woman wrote to me and told me she decided to take a break from her husband after telling her friends and family how awful he was. Now she is considering taking him back, and she has no idea how to face them and tell them the news.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Decisions, Emotional Abuse, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Self-Worth Tagged With: Decisions without family and friends' support, My friends think I'm making a bad decision

The tiny things that improve your life

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The tiny things that improve your life
The tiny things that improve your life
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The tiny things that improve your life

Have you ever had a tiny squeak in a door in your home that irritated you every time you used it? What happens after you oil the hinge and the squeak goes away? To some, it can feel like a life-changing moment!

That and other quality-of-life improvements can actually create happiness and make the day-to-day that much better. 

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Filed Under: Emotional Healing, Happiness, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Values Tagged With: Quality-of-Life Choices, Self-Improvement Nuggets, Small ways to happiness

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