Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
A few days ago, I received a newsletter as part of an email subscription* I’m on. The subject of the newsletter was The Road of Life is Paved with Flat Squirrels Who Couldn’t Make a Decision.
I thought, wow, that paints the perfect picture of indecision.
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Permanent decisions are not always permanent, we just think they are. Even marriage nowadays isn’t permanent, as much as we want it to be.
And even when everything is going great, “stuff” happens and makes things not so great anymore, which forces us to change or fall.
There’s a fun, yet morbid, quote I read about flat squirrels and indecision (if you think hard enough, you’ll understand that right away), and it makes for a great topic to talk about.
In segment 2, I read an email from someone who sees every red flag in a new marriage yet doesn’t walk away. Her values and boundaries are being violated and she finds nothing to love about a man she’s already married to on paper. Then she asks if there is any hope. Hmm…
In segment 3, I talk about how music is a great mood changer but shouldn’t necessarily replace deeper reflection and processing of buried emotions.
Nurturing yourself while you’re in a relationship decreases the impact breaking up has if and when it happens. The more you keep the connection with yourself and don’t lose a part of you in the relationship, the healthier you stay. You lose your identity in a relationship when you don’t nurture yourself.
When family doesn’t honor you and see your worth, sometimes you just have to distance yourself from them so that you reconnect with a brilliant, worthy you. Not everyone is capable of seeing what you are, so it’s important to continue nurturing and supporting yourself as if you were your own child or best friend.
When your partner has a friend who is also an ex, how do you feel about that? Do they talk all the time? Do they have to communicate because of shared custody of children? Do they communicate more than you’d like? It’s important to understand where your line is and when your partner is crossing it. Otherwise, their ex becomes a part of your relationship, which can be damaging if you’re not all good friends, to begin with.
Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.
That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.
What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?
[Read more…]Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?
There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.
Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?
Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.
